


You're a different kind of new

by LostInAdmiration



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: AU, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Humour, Kinda, M/M, Mutual Pining, coffee shop AU, even is a flustered mess when it comes to isak, not even a second of angst dont stress
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-23
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-12-05 23:48:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 23,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11588673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LostInAdmiration/pseuds/LostInAdmiration
Summary: "But that still didn’t explain why Even was currently standing in a crowded house with the boy of his dreams pressed up against his side and a girl stood in front of them, looking bewildered as Isak told the girl excitedly how he and Even had met."(Even has had a hopeless crush on Isak for months now, but has never been brave enough to talk to him. Luckily, Isak decides to make the first move by rescuing Even from unwanted attention at a party.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my twist on the wonderful trope of fake relationship AU's, and is basically just a whole lot of Even being flustered and totally head over heels in love with Isak.  
> As always, thanks to my bff [Shannon](http://my0rdinarymadness.tumblr.com/) for reading this for me and letting me know your thoughts  
> The biggest thanks ever to my buds in #TeamTakeItEasy, [Sarah](http://sanashappinessisendgame.tumblr.com/), for beta'ing for me and helping me improve this and work out what to do, and [Kathi](http://hotchocolatenthusiast.tumblr.com/) for helping me come up with this idea in the first place. Both of you are massively supportive and two of the best people I know. Thank you <3
> 
> I hope you like it!

Even didn’t think much of parties. Though he didn’t hate them, he didn’t much like them either. They were such a chore. It was always too loud to have proper conversations, so all you could do was engage in awkward small talk for a few seconds before moving on to the next person, and it was always too warm and too dark and too  _ much.  _ Even would much rather stay at home, where it was calm and controlled and blissfully quiet.    
But lately, Even had found himself at parties almost every weekend, lucky that his friends so happily agreed to him insisting that they went to each random house party of someone’s name he couldn’t remember.    
His reason for him forcing himself out whenever he had the opportunity to was admittedly pretty embarrassing, and his friends loved to remind him so at every given opportunity. But still, he couldn’t stop himself from going to every boring party, his eyes immediately scanning the room for someone in particular the second he walked through the door.

 

Currently, Even was leant against a wall in a stranger’s living room, the floor vibrating from the heavy bass of the music playing and the air thick and sticky around him. He nursed his beer to his chest as people pushed and shoved around him, but he barely noticed, because the person he’d been waiting for had just walked through the door, greeting his friends with high fives and a bright smile that made Even’s heart feel too big for his chest.

 

“I’m going to talk to him tonight,” Even announced to his friends, cutting into their conversation without thinking.    
  


Yousef and Mikael were the only ones who were still standing next to him, mirroring his position against the wall and staring out at the crowd whilst their other friends had disappeared off into the sea of bodies some time ago.

 

Yousef bumped against Even’s shoulder as a silent encouragement, but Mikael snorted on the other side of Even, and Even turned his head to glare at his best friend, who was grinning right back.

 

“That’s a lie and you know it,” Mikael said, leaning in closer to shout in Even’s ear.    
“You say that at every party and you never do.”

 

Even deflated a little against the wall with a sigh; as much as he’d like to argue, Mikael was right. Even had tried to be brave enough to go over and at least introduce himself to the boy he’d had the most painful crush on for months, but just  _ thinking _ about going over and saying hello made Even feel wobbly. 

 

Even had first seen Isak on a particularly terrible day at work. It had been snowing for two days straight, and Even had fallen over four times on his way to the coffee shop for his shift. He was nursing a cold that made his throat sore and his nose run relentlessly, and his head felt like it was stuffed full of cotton wool. Even was ready to write it off as the worst day ever, until the most beautiful person Even had ever seen came bustling through the doors, his teeth chattering loudly and his gloved hands curled into fists against his sides. He was wearing so many layers that it made him waddle a little as he walked, his hat was pulled so far down and his scarf wrapped so tightly around his face that only his eyes and a few stray curls of hair could be seen. As he made his way over to the counter he pulled off his hat, making his hair stick up at every angle possible, and he pulled his scarf down to smile kindly at Even, his cheeks flushed red from the cold. There was something about him, from his messy hair to his crumpled clothes and the fact his smile was just a little bit crooked, that made Even’s heart come to a stuttering halt for a few seconds as he took him in. 

 

It was a short exchange, and Even mostly croaked and snivelled his way through it, still feeling like he’d been hit by a truck no matter how much he tried to insist to his manager that he wasn’t  _ that _ ill. He at least learnt Isak’s name through his drink order, before Isak curled his hands around the cup Even handed to him, almost brushing Even’s fingers as he did, and wandered back out through the doors, his shoulders hunching up as he braced himself against the cold.

It was a terrible first impression, Even red faced and more snot than human, and luckily Even had a chance to redeem himself slightly, since it started to become routine that Isak would come into the coffee shop at the same time every Friday with tired eyes and a small smile. Even would shoot Isak his widest grin, handing over his already made order (Even had learnt to time it just right so that Isak’s drink was at the perfect temperature for when he arrived), and mumbling polite ‘hello’s’ and ‘goodbyes’ before Isak would disappear again until the next week. 

Even was never quite brave enough to say anything more - Isak’s smiles were always reserved and muted, and he would barely look at Even as he hurried in to get his drink before leaving again, usually avoiding Even’s eyes in favour of looking at his phone, or staring down at the counter. 

 

When Even saw Isak on his university campus on his first day back for his third and final year, his knees almost gave out. Isak’s laugh rang through the courtyard as clear as a bell, his head thrown back and eyes crinkling, and Even’s ridiculous little crush quickly became monumental and even more pathetic.

 

Even had lamented his hopeless pining for Isak to his friends so many times that they all immediately groaned and rolled their eyes as soon as Even mentioned his name, but Even didn’t care enough to stop. He’d dealt with Mikael’s weird crush on their teacher, and Yousef was even worse than Even when it came to him and Sana, so Even figured they could suffer through his constant complaining about the prettiest boy in the world barely knowing he existed. 

 

“You should just go and say hi. What’s the worst that can happen?” Yousef said, curling his arm around Even’s neck.

 

There were plenty of things that could go terribly wrong, and Even had thought of all of them three times over, each one ending in him being humiliated and having to move to another country.

 

“I just want it to be perfect. He’s important,” Even said with a shrug, and he heard both of his friends groan in unison. 

 

Even just felt like he wanted their first proper conversation that wasn’t behind a counter to mean something. He wanted to make Isak grin in the way that made his nose scrunch up, he wanted to make him laugh, to make his cheeks turn red from something Even would say. 

 

“That’s a terrible excuse and you know it,” said Mikael, sounding exhausted.

 

“It’ll never be perfect, but you’ll regret it if you don’t do something soon,” Yousef said into Even’s ear, giving his shoulder a squeeze. 

 

“I’ve never seen you this pathetic over someone in all the time we’ve been friends. I’ve seen your Spotify playlists lately, you dedicated one to just his  _ eyes _ last week,” Mikael added, causing Yousef to snigger under his breath and Even to punch him in the arm.

 

“What if he’s not into guys?” Even countered, tapping his fingers on his can as he watched Isak laugh and chatter with his friends, sat on the arm of a tattered sofa and clutching his drink.

 

Even really wanted to ask “what if he’s not into _ me?”  _ He’d seen Isak with other boys at a few parties, trailing his fingers up their arm or leaning in close so that their noses brushed. But Even knew he was a little too much for people sometimes, when he cared about something he threw his whole self into it without thinking, and some people found it overbearing. 

 

“We’re not telling you to go over there and kiss him, just at least get to know him so you can stop constantly theorising over whether he likes the same music as you or not,” said Yousef, and Mikael hummed his agreement whilst Even sighed. 

 

He wondered what Isak studied, what sort of movies he liked, what he liked to do in his spare time. Even had lots of different versions of Isak that he’d created in his head, but he knew none of them were close to the real thing.

 

“Whilst you carry on moping in the corner, I’m going to go find the others. There’s only so much of this pity party I can stand,” announced Mikael, straightening up and stretching. 

 

Before Mikael left, he stopped to ruffle Even’s hair, making him squawk in protest. “Talk to him,” insisted Mikael, his smile melting into something kinder. “Charm him with your obscure film knowledge and dashing good looks.”

 

Even rolled his eyes but couldn’t help but smile back at his best friend as he passed. As much as he and Mikael made fun of each other, Mikael knew Even better than anyone else, and had been by his side through everything.

 

“Why him?” asked Yousef once Mikael was gone, sliding across the wall to lean in closer to Even. 

 

Even was still staring out into the crowd. He could see Mikael’s head bobbing up and down as he wandered around the room looking for their friends, and he could still see Isak, sprawled out on the sofa now with his friends huddled beside him.

 

Even turned his head to raise an eyebrow incredulously at Yousef.

 

“Have you  _ seen  _ him?” replied Even, tilting his head in the direction he knew Isak was sitting.

 

Yousef chuckled and shook his head, elbowing Even in the ribs.

 

“That’s not what I mean and you know it. There’s been a lot of people you think are beautiful, I swear you find beauty in everyone no matter what, but this is different. Why does he matter more?” 

 

Even took a deep breath and shrugged his shoulders, going back to watching Isak. Isak was listening to his friends talk around him, all gesticulating wildly and talking so loudly Even was almost sure he could hear them even from across the room. Isak was sitting quietly, watching his friends with the fondest of smiles as he pulled the sleeves of his jumper over his knuckles and shuffled a little closer to his friend beside him, whose eyes were drooping and head nodding back and forth as they tried to stay awake. Isak nudged their side and they got the message and gratefully dropped their head on Isak’s shoulder, and Isak grinned down at them before going back to the other’s conversation. 

 

Even didn’t know the answer to Yousef’s question. He just knew that Isak  _ did _ matter more, for some reason. There was something about him that made Even’s heart glow and and his hands shake, and he hadn’t felt this way about anyone before ever. This was something different and new and completely terrifying.

 

“Is Even still pining after that blonde guy?” came a voice from Even’s left, just as Mutta wandered over to Yousef and Even with a big grin and a cocktail glass full of orange in hand, tiny pink umbrella and crazy straw included. 

 

Even sighed as Yousef nodded, and Mutta laughed, taking the cocktail umbrella out of his glass and reaching over to tuck it behind Even’s ear. Even rolled his eyes but didn’t protest as Mutta grinned proudly at him once he’d settled the umbrella into Even’s hair.

 

“Even, man, I love you, but this obsession is getting out of hand,” said Mutta, taking Mikael’s space against the wall before taking a sip of his drink. 

 

“I’m not  _ obsessed _ ,” Even argued, but both Yousef and Mutta snorted.

 

“Sure. Remind me how many drawings of him there are in your sketchbook right now?”

Even’s sketchbook was half full with different drawings of Isak, from closeups of his hands, detailing his bitten down nails and the callouses on his palms, to dozens of drawings of just his smile, none of which did the real thing justice. 

 

“Obsession makes it sound creepy,” Even muttered, deflating against the wall. “I just- I  _ really _ like him, guys.” 

 

Both Mutta and Yousef made matching sympathetic noises and Mutta reached down to give Even’s hand a squeeze. Even really did love his friends. 

 

“Just talk to him,” insisted Yousef.

 

“Yeah, because if you don’t, Elias and Adam are about to stage an intervention and talk to him for you, and trust me, you really don’t want that,” added Mutta. Just the thought of Elias and Adam barrelling in and making stupid comments that would probably scar Isak for life made Even’s heart drop.

 

“What would I even  _ say _ ?” whined Even, throwing his head back to bump it against the wall. “Hi, I think you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen, and I’d really like to kiss you?”

 

“You’re such a sap. Maybe stick to just hi for now,” laughed Yousef.

 

Isak looked up and met Even’s eyes, and his face softened into that small, wonky smile that made Even feel dizzy. Even felt like if he didn’t do something now, after months of living on weekly small talk and staring at Isak at awful parties, he’d surely wither away. 

 

“Okay,” Even said, pushing himself off the wall and shoving his drink into Yousef’s hand.   
“I’m going to talk to him.”

 

Yousef and Mutta cheered and Mutta slapped Even on the back as Even wriggled his way through the crowd and towards Isak, his heart hammering in his chest. 

 

Just as Even had almost battled through to the other side of the room, his eyes not leaving Isak once, someone crashed into his chest, their fingers curling around his bicep as Even stumbled backwards in a daze. 

 

There was a girl stood in front of him, blonde curls spilling over her shoulders and her glasses almost slipping off of her nose. She was grinning widely, and her fingers were still wrapped tightly around Even’s arm as she leaned in close to whisper-shout into his ear, making him grimace.

 

“Hey! Would you like to dance with me?” the girl was swaying on the spot, and the hand that wasn’t attached to Even’s arm was lifting up and burying itself into Even’s hair. Even opened his mouth to say no, his hands pinned by his side, but the girl beat him to it, leaning in to speak again.

 

“My name’s Sara, what’s yours?” her fingers were tracing patterns into the skin on Even’s arm, and Even admired her confidence - after all, his idea of ‘flirting’ had been staring at his crush from afar and hoping they’d make the first move.

 

Even stuttered out his name into the girl’s ear, and her face broke into a toothy grin as she stumbled closer, tugging on Even’s hair and making him wince. Even tried to place his hands on the girl’s hips to steer her backwards and away from him, but she seemed to take his touch as an invitation. She took another step forward so that she and Even were chest to chest,looking up at him with drooping eyelids and a wicked smile on her face. Even wanted to melt into the ground as he babbled excuses and tried to work out a way to escape. Undeterred, the girl’s arms moved to sling around Even’s shoulders instead, their faces dangerously close together. He wasn’t used to strangers trying to hit on him at parties - he’d been in a long term relationship for almost all of his teenage years, and after that he didn’t stray from his group of friends whenever they went out together, so he wasn’t exactly sure what to do. He hoped that one of his friends would come and rescue him, but knew that they’d no doubt be watching him from the corner of the room, laughing hysterically at him trying desperately to reject a drunk girl that was currently hanging around his neck.

 

Just as Even was contemplating cutting his losses and bolting out of the door as fast as he could, someone appeared next to him and pressed into his side as their hand fit into his, fingers twining together easily. 

 

“Hey, babe,” a voice shouted into Even’s ear, loud enough so that both Even and the girl could hear, and Even’s breath caught in his throat - he would know that voice anywhere.

 

Even turned his head, and sure enough Isak was stood beside him, grinning widely as he squeezed Even’s hand before leaning forward to press a kiss to Even’s cheek.

 

Even was hallucinating. It was the only explanation that made sense; his pining had gotten so extreme that he had begun to hallucinate all of the scenarios he’d dreamt up in which he and Isak were a couple. 

 

“Who are you?” the girl asked, taking a stumbling step back as she frowned at Isak, her hands dropping from around Even’s shoulders. 

 

Even could barely process anything except for the fact that Isak and Even were holding hands, and Even was wondering how his brain had managed to short circuit enough that he’d skipped the whole awkward phase of getting to know each other and gotten straight to the relationship part. He was grateful for it, but he was also well aware that it didn’t make a whole lot of sense. 

 

“I’m his boyfriend,” replied Isak easily, and okay, Even was  _ definitely _ hallucinating.

 

The girl frowned, looking from Even, to Isak, and then back to Even. Her eyes moved to scan Even from head to toe, her frown twisting into a grimace, and Even’s stomach did a somersault as Isak let go of Even’s hand so that he could snake his arm around Even’s waist. 

 

“Oh,” the girl said, but because of the blood rushing through Even’s ears he could barely hear her when she spoke again. “How long have you two been together?”

 

“Three months,” Isak replied a little too quickly, and Even turned his head to look at Isak once more. He was so close that Even could count the freckles on his face, and could see the way his eyes were a little glazed over and his breath smelt of the beer Even had been drinking earlier. 

 

Even looked back to the girl and nodded his confirmation, trying to swallow down the lump in his throat. Was Isak playing a prank on him? Did he know about Even’s stupid crush and had decided to make fun of him for a bet? 

 

Even shook that thought off immediately. Even in the limited time he and Isak had spent together, he knew that playing with people’s feelings wasn’t something that Isak would do. Isak was always so quietly kind, with his soft smiles and the way he’d wait to hold the door open for the person trailing behind him, and the way he’d pull faces at toddlers in the queue at the shop when he thought no one was looking. Isak was a good person, and him doing this just to mess with Even’s head made no sense at all.

 

But that still didn’t explain why Even was currently standing in a crowded house with the boy of his dreams pressed up against his side and a girl stood in front of them, looking bewildered as Isak told the girl excitedly how he and Even had met.

 

“He works in the coffee shop I go to, and he wrote his number on my cup,” Isak explained, and Even was impressed by how easily Isak seemed to be able to talk about their fake relationship. 

 

Even wished he had been brave enough to slip Isak his number. He almost had once, he drew a ridiculous doodle of himself that stretched right up to the top of the coffee cup, his legs almost taking up all of the space, and a scrawled  _ “call me? <3” _ besides the string of digits, but he hastily threw that cup in the bin at the last minute and left the next cup blank.

 

“That- That’s very sweet,” the girl said, her voice sounded choked and tense but Even didn’t want to take his eyes off of Isak to see her reaction.

 

Isak was almost smirking at the girl, his arm wrapped tightly around Even’s waist and his eyes flitting to Even every now and again as he spoke. Even could see him up close now, see how his eyelashes cast long shadows across his face when the light hit him just right, and how his hair curled around his ears. Even’s heart was hammering against his ribs and his lungs were burning from holding his breath, scared if he spoke or moved or breathed too deeply that this whole illusion he’d made up would dissipate. 

 

But this couldn’t be fake or a dream. Isak’s fingers tracing the hem of Even’s shirt and his breath on Even’s cheek were far too real, and if this was a dream Even made up, the girl would have disappeared by now and he and Isak definitely wouldn’t be having their first proper conversation at some awful party. 

 

Finally, the girl got the message and stumbled away, with one last dejected look at Even before she disappeared, collapsing into the arms of a brunette girl who, for some reason, had a sun painted on her cheek. 

 

As soon as the girl left, Isak took a big step away from Even, his arm uncurling from around Even’s middle as he made space between them. Even mourned the loss of Isak’s touch immediately, and wondered how weird it would be for him to ask if Isak could hold onto him for a little bit longer. 

 

“Sorry about that,” said Isak, running a hand through his hair and rocking back and forth on his feet. He looked almost nervous as he smiled up at Even. “You looked like you needed rescuing, and I figured pretending to be your boyfriend would get her off your back pretty quick.”

 

Had Isak been watching Even from across the room like Even had been watching him? A tiny smile crept onto Even’s face as he leaned forward to talk into Isak’s ear.

 

“My hero,” Even joked, mentally congratulating himself on how steady his voice sounded, despite the fact he was so close that he could feel the body heat radiating off of Isak.

 

Isak laughed and ducked his head, and even in the low light, Even could tell he was blushing a little. This was Even’s chance, he didn’t want to go back to them staring at each other from across the room once he and Isak parted ways.

 

“I’m going out to get some air,” Even announced, and he was almost sure he saw Isak’s smile falter ever so slightly, until Even added, “Are you coming?” before promptly turning on his heel and making his way to the door. He stuffed his hands into his pockets and crossed his fingers tightly, hoping and praying that Isak was following him. 

 

Even settled himself down on the wall outside and immediately regretted not grabbing his coat on the way out. Despite it being summer now, the nights were still freezing, and Even shivered against the cold wind that whipped through his thin shirt. 

 

Even’s eyes never left the door as he held his breath and waited for Isak to appear. He counted to a hundred, then two hundred, then three, and still the doorway remained painfully empty, and Even wanted to kick himself. He should have stayed in there with Isak, or at least waited to hear his reply before he disappeared outside. If he’d blown his chance, the boys would never forgive him. Hell,  _ he’d  _ never forgive himself.

 

Just as Even was about to make his way home to drown in his misery, Isak appeared beside him, wearing a bright orange duffel coat and handing over another coat over to Even. 

 

“I found these in the house. They’re not mine, but I figured it would be cold and I saw you didn’t have a coat, so,” Isak explained with a shrug, and Even’s heart swelled as he took the coat with a mumbled thanks, pulling it on and burying himself in its warmth. 

 

Isak jumped up on the wall and sat beside Even, so close that their arms and legs were bumping together, and Isak turned to grin at Even, his eyes zeroing in on the side of Even’s head. 

 

“Is that the new fashion these days?” he asked, and Even frowned in confusion for a few seconds before he remembered the cocktail umbrella Mutta had tucked behind his ear.

 

Even laughed and tried to ignore the way his face heated up as Isak stared at him. He stuck his chin in the air proudly, grinning at Isak.

 

“I’m starting a new trend. Do you like it?” 

 

“Very stylish,” replied Isak, grinning right back, and Even was sure he was about to combust any minute. 

 

“Thanks again, for being my temporary boyfriend, I mean. You really did save me back there,” said Even, making Isak blush once more. Even only just managed to stop himself from doing a fist pump at the sight. Maybe his hopeless crush wasn’t so hopeless after all.

 

“You owe me now,” joked Isak, grinning slyly. His eyes were positively shining as he waggled his eyebrows comically at Even, and Even couldn’t help but laugh.

 

“Next time you need a temporary boyfriend, you know who to call,” Even said, and Isak laughed under his breath and nodded.

 

“I’m Isak, by the way,” said Isak, sticking his hand out to shake Even’s, and Even only just managed to suppress the hysterical laughter that was bubbling in his throat.

 

“I know who you are, Isak,” Even replied, not succeeding in holding back his laughter anymore when he saw Isak’s bewildered expression.

 

“Wh-  _ How _ ?” Isak squeaked, as Even reached out and shook his hand. He maybe held on to Isak’s hand for a little bit longer than necessary, but Isak didn’t say anything, just gave Even’s palm a squeeze, so Even allowed himself a few more seconds of feeling the warmth of Isak’s hand in his own.

 

“I see you every week. In the coffee shop? I take your mocha order every Friday,” Even explained, but Isak’s face didn’t look any less shocked.

 

“I  _ know _ that,” Isak shot back, rolling his eyes before dropping them to the ground. “I just didn’t think you’d remember me.” 

 

Even didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Isak, who had been his main topic of conversation for months, whose smile made Even feel like he was glowing, thought he wasn’t memorable. Even if this was the last time Isak and Even would ever speak, if after this Even never saw Isak again, he was sure that he’d never forget him. 

 

Even wanted to tell Isak all of this, but also knew that it was maybe a little too heavy for first conversations, so instead he settled with nudging Isak’s shin with his foot and smiling kindly at him.

 

“Of course I remember you,” Even said softly, delighted at the way Isak’s face melted into a dopey smile as he nudged Even’s leg with his own foot in return. 

 

Even stook his hand out to Isak just like Isak had to him, and Isak stared at him, eyebrows raised.

 

“I’m Even,” Even added with a smile, suddenly realising that Isak had barely noticed Even before, and probably didn’t know his name.

 

Isak snorted, rolling his eyes again, and Even was so, so into this boy, sarcasm included.

 

“I know who you are, Even,” Isak retorted, imitating Even’s voice and making Even burst into a fit of laughter. “I don’t just pretend to be  _ anyone’s  _ boyfriend.”

 

Even held his hand over his heart with a grin, nodding solemnly at Isak. 

 

“I’m honoured.”

 

“You should be,” quipped Isak, grinning just as widely as Even was. Isak ducked his head when he spoke again, and he mumbled under his breath so quietly that Even had to strain to hear him. “I did it mostly because I wanted an excuse to talk to you since you never came over and said hi like I thought you might.”

 

Even was hit with a jolt of regret from all the time he’d wasted being cowardly and watching Isak from afar. He could have done this so much sooner. He shook that thought off quickly though, because he had his moment to fix things, and he wanted to spend as much time in Isak’s company as he possibly could.

 

“I wanted to,” Even replied just as quietly. “Trust me, I really,  _ really _ wanted to.” 

 

Isak’s smile came back with that, and when he shuffled a little closer, almost pressing into Even’s side, Even forgot how to breathe. 

 

“I wanted to, too,” admitted Isak. Even could barely hold back his grin.

 

“Why tonight?” 

 

“You needed rescuing,” Isak grinned, making Even laugh out loud. “That and some liquid confidence. Plus, my friends were getting sick of my complaining about wanting to talk to you.”

 

Even had no idea what he’d done to be so lucky.

 

*

 

They sat outside side by side for a long time, chatting excitedly to each other about anything that came to mind, sometimes stopping mid-sentence to move onto another subject suddenly, making their conversation winding and complicated and full of energy. 

 

Even learned a lot of things about Isak. He learned that he did, in fact, like the same music as Even, listing off almost all of the same artists that Even loved, but his movie taste was slightly less perfect, with him claiming he didn’t have the attention span to sit through two hours of something. 

 

“You’re just watching the wrong movies,” Even argued.

 

“Maybe you need to show me some good ones, then,” Isak replied easily, making Even’s breath stutter.

 

“I’d like that,” Even said softly, earning another delighted grin from Isak.

 

Even also learned that Isak was smart. He was full of random information and general knowledge that just came so naturally to him. Even found himself listening carefully to Isak talking animatedly about how weather channels got accurate estimations of the weather when Even had made a comment about it being cold. Isak ended up going quiet and a little pale when he realised how long he had been talking for, and muttered an apology, to which Even shook his head and placed a hand on top of Isak’s.

 

“Don’t apologise, I love hearing you talk,” Even insisted, marvelling at the way Isak fidgeted under his gaze and tried to fight his smile.

 

Even learned that Isak’s laugh, when he allowed it, was loud and obnoxious, and he often threw his hands up to his face or ducked his head when he laughed to suppress it. He learned that Isak twiddled his thumbs when he talked, and when he went off on a tangent about something, a small wrinkle formed between his eyes that Even was just dying to smooth out with his fingers. He learned that Isak was most definitely into boys when he told a story of his first proper date with a guy, and the guy had turned up in a suit and tie for a date to the cinema. 

 

Even told Isak about himself too, and Isak listened carefully to everything he said, his head tilted ever so slightly and his mouth curled up into a small smile. 

 

Talking to Isak was so easy that Even cursed himself for not doing it sooner, and the more they talked, the closer they got to each other, their heads bent together as they talked about anything that came to mind, Isak’s nose bumping into Even’s whenever he laughed too hard. 

 

Soon, the buzzing of Isak’s phone was too incessant to ignore. He eventually pulled it out of his pocket and scowled at it, letting out a loud sigh. 

 

“My friends are looking for me, I should go,” Isak grumbled, and Even didn’t even bother to try and hide his disappointment. 

 

“So soon?” Even had no idea how much time had passed, but it didn’t feel like long enough.

 

Isak laughed softly and held his phone out to show Even the time.

 

“It’s almost two in the morning, we’ve been out here for hours.”

 

“It doesn’t feel like it,” Even said out loud this time, and to his relief, Isak agreed with another sigh. 

 

“But we could maybe do this again, if you’d want?” asked Isak cautiously, before shaking his head with a laugh “I don’t mean me pretending to be your boyfriend, I mean this. Us, talking.”

 

Even only just managed to stop himself from doing something stupid like pulling Isak into a bone crushing hug, or getting up and doing a ridiculous victory dance. Instead, he just nodded at Isak, and lit up at the smile he got in return. 

 

They stood up to leave, but both turned to face each other. Isak had his hands stuffed into his pockets and was smiling shyly up at Even, and Even was grinning right back. 

 

“See you on Friday?” asked Even. The next time Isak came into the shop Even was going to talk to him, he was going to write his number on Isak’s cup and ask him if he’d like to go out for dinner some time. He was going to be brave. 

 

Isak nodded, and Even had never been more excited to go to work in his life. He plucked the cocktail umbrella out from behind his ear and leant forward to tuck it behind Isak’s ear instead, not missing Isak’s breath stuttering when Even brushed his cheekbone with his knuckles.

 

“Thanks again for rescuing me,” said Even, letting his fingers trace Isak’s jawline lightly before he drew his hand back. 

 

Isak grinned and shrugged, before his smile dropped ever so slightly, and he stared at Even, unblinking, for what seemed like forever. 

 

Isak took a few hesitant steps forward, and Even’s brain went into meltdown as Isak leant in to cup Even’s cheeks gently with his hands before pressing the lightest of kisses to Even’s lips, stepping back before Even could react properly.    
Even took a step forward to counter Isak’s step back, and ducked his head to kiss Isak again, but this time, Isak wrapped his arms around Even’s neck and pulled him in closer, letting Even settle his hands on Isak’s hips as they kissed until Even’s lungs were burning. Even would have thought he was hallucinating again, but not even in his wildest dreams could he make this up. Isak’s hands were tangled in the hair at the nape of Even’s neck, and Even felt like he was electrified - all of his hairs were standing on end and his fingertips were tingling as he squeezed Isak’s sides and drew him as close as they could be.

 

Someone called out to Isak from the doorway, and Isak groaned into Even’s mouth before breaking apart and instead letting his forehead rest against Even’s for a few moments.

 

“I really have to go, but can we pick this up again another time?” Isak looked a little nervous as he met Even’s eyes, and Even wanted to laugh out loud. In what universe would he ever say no?

 

“Definitely,” replied Even quickly, earning the brightest smile from Isak, the one that made his nose scrunch up and his eyes wrinkle at the corners.

 

Isak pressed a few more chaste kisses to Even’s lips before turning and starting over to his friends, but thinking better of it and hurrying back over to Even to steal one more kiss that almost made Even’s knees buckle. Isak jogged away to his friends and left Even in a daze, stood huddled in an oversized coat and grinning stupidly to himself. He watched Isak go, his friends greeting him with a chorus of cheers once he got to them before they set off walking side by side down the street. Isak turned one last time to smile at Even before he turned the street corner, and Even waved to him as Isak tripped over his own feet trying to walk backwards as he waved back. 

 

Even barked out a disbelieving laugh once Isak was out of sight, and sat down heavily onto the wall with his head in his hands. He was smiling so hard that his face hurt, and he still wasn’t completely sure that this wasn’t an elaborate hallucination born out of how enamoured he was with the boy he’d had a crush on for months now. 

 

Even pulled his phone out of his pocket to find a string of messages from his friend’s group chat wondering where he was.

 

**Mutta:**   
(02:03)  
Mik is Even with you and Adam?

 

**Mikael:**   
(02:04)  
No? I thought he was with you?

 

**Mutta:**   
(02:04)  
He’s not with us? Elias?

 

**Elias:  
** (02:06)  
He’s a big boy, guys, I’m sure he’s fine

 

**Yousef:  
** (02:07)   
I think I saw him go outside  
With Isak

 

**Mikael:  
** (02:07)  
ISAK???????????

 

**Elias:  
** (02:08)  
Oh shit.

 

**Adam:  
** (02:09)  
The blonde kid he has a dumb crush on???

 

**Yousef:  
** (02:10)  
I swear I saw Isak holding his hand  
You guys should see the stupid victory dance Mutta is doing right now

 

**Mikael:  
** (02:11)  
I don’t believe it. Last I saw he was dancing with that blonde girl

 

**Mutta:**   
(02:11)  
That’s a lie, Even can’t dance.  
And besides, that girl is making out with that other girl in the stripy dress in the corner now.

  
  


Even rolled his eyes at his ridiculous friends and quickly typed out a reply.

  
  


**Even:**   
(02:13)  
Excuse you Mutta, I’m an excellent dancer

 

**Mikael:  
** (02:13)   
Bro!!!

 

**Yousef:**   
(02:14)  
Did you finally do it????

 

**Mutta:**   
(02:14)  
Bullshit, you’re like a giraffe on ice

 

**Elias:**   
(02:15)  
Did you finally talk to him so you can stop complaining to us about being doomed to being alone forever?

  
  


Even didn’t even both to hold back his face splitting grin as he swung his legs back and forth, still typing excitedly on his phone.

  
  


**Even:**   
(02:17)  
We talked   
We kissed  
You guys, I think I’m in love

 

**Yousef:  
** (02:17)  
Oh wow.

 

**Mutta:  
** (02:18)  
Oh shIT

 

**Mikael:  
** (02:18)  
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

**Adam:  
** (02:19)  
Gross

 

**Elias:  
** (02:20)  
Yes! Did you finally get his number and ask him on a date?

 

Even wished he’d asked for Isak’s number before he left, because if he had, he’d be texting Isak ridiculous quotes and lyrics to make him laugh. He’d ask on Friday though, when he saw Isak again. He’d spent enough time without Isak in his life and he didn’t want to waste a minute more.

 

**Even:  
** (02:21)  
Not yet, but I will

 

**Mikael:  
** (02:21)  
Oh my god you idiot. I can’t believe after all this time pining you didn’t even ask for his number 

 

**Adam:  
** (02:23)  
You’re even worse at flirting than Yousef, and he’s pathetic

 

**Mutta:**   
(02:23)  
True

 

**Yousef:**   
(02:24)   
Rude   
Anyway Even, we’re proud of you.

 

**Mikael:**   
(02:24)  
I’m not, he didn’t even get his number?? Pathetic. Did you actually even kiss? Or did you just pass out the minute he looked at you and imagine it all

 

**Even:**   
(02:25)   
Mik you’re an asshole. He kissed me and it was amazing. He’s as perfect as I thought he would be.

 

**Adam:**   
(02:26)  
Gayyyyyy.

 

**Even:**   
(02:26)  
??????? this is pan erasure.

 

**Elias:  
** (02:27)  
I’m with Mik, I think you’re lying Even. You’ll have scared him off because you have exactly zero chill around that guy

 

**Yousef:**   
(02:28)  
I believe you Even. He wouldn’t make this up

 

**Mikael:  
** (02:28)   
You’re only saying that because you have even less chill than Even does

**  
**Even:  
(02:29)   
I swear I’m not making this up, he pretended to be my boyfriend and then stayed and talk to me and it was the best night of my life

 

**Mutta:**   
(02:29)   
??????????????

 

**Adam:**   
(02:30)   
Pretended to be your boyfriend????? Was he fucking with you??? Asshole.

 

**Even:**   
(02:30)   
No!!!!   
I needed him to, he rescued me.

 

**Mutta:**   
(02:31)   
????????!!!!!!!???????????????????

 

 **Even:**   
(02:32)   
I’ll explain tomorrow. I’m going home.

 

**Mikael:**   
(02:32)   
I still can’t believe you didn’t get his NUMBER. Idiot

 

**Mutta:**   
(02:33)   
I just want someone to explain to me how and why he pretended to be your boyfriend?

 

**Elias:**   
(02:33)   
I’m sure we’ll hear the whole story in excruciating detail tomorrow

 

Even huffed a laugh and stuffed his phone back in his pocket, jumping off of the wall and heading off down the street. He kept the stolen jacket on, not wanting to go back into the noise and commotion of the party and spoil the bubble of happiness that surrounded him. The road was quiet, the noise of the party seemed far away and out of reach, and Even still felt like he was in a dream - just a little bit disconnected from reality. 

But he knew it wasn’t a dream; he could still hear Isak’s laugh ringing through his head, could still feel the ghost of Isak’s touch where his fingers had traced Even’s skin. 

It might not become anything more than what he and Isak had tonight, but Even really hoped it would be, and for the first time, he felt like it could be. Isak had been braver than Even and chosen to talk to him, and even though Isak had just pretended to be Even’s boyfriend, now that Even knew what it was like, he wanted it to be something a little more permanent. Isak was so much better than the Isak Even had created in his head - he was smart and funny and kind without even thinking about it, and Even felt as though he’d known him for years, not a few hours.

Even was so glad he didn’t have to suffer through any more parties stood in the corner alone and waiting for his chance anymore, but maybe he’d start to enjoy them a little more if he got to spend his time there with Isak instead.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It just feels important. Even, he’s-” Isak sighed and tried to think of the right words. Even made something fizz inside of Isak’s stomach, made his heart stammer in a way that it never had before. Isak had had plenty of crushes on guys - most painfully unrequited - but none of them could even come close to the way he felt about Even. 
> 
> “Special?” Jonas offered, and Isak could hear the smile in his voice.
> 
> “Yeah. Special,” replied Isak wistfully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again!! Part one was meant to be a standalone thing but because my friends and I spent a lot of time discussing how this verse would continue, I eventually decided to write it. This is from Isak's point of view this time, and is what happened the Friday Isak and Even planned to meet up again in part one.  
> Once again thank you to [Shannon](http://my0rdinarymadness.tumblr.com/) for reading this over for me, [Sarah](http://sanashappinessisendgame.tumblr.com), for being the best beta and making me laugh with her caps lock comments on docs, as well as both [Kathi](http://hotchocolatenthusiast.tumblr.com/) and Sarah for being so encouraging and kind in our ridiculous group chat.  
> Thanks so much for the response part one got - everyone has been so lovely and it's made me smile a whole lot. I hope you like part two just as much <3

After years of battling with insomnia and terrible sleeping patterns, Isak had made himself a promise to allow himself to sleep well as often as he could. It didn’t always work; his sleeping pattern was still a mess and he was always more tired during the day than on a night. Plus, all of the neverending uni work he had to do that often kept him up until the early hours of the morning didn’t help. Nevertheless, whenever Isak’s lectures blessedly didn’t start until later in the day and Isak had no other plans, he’d make it his mission to sleep in until at least late morning.

Which is probably why his roommate Eskild almost had a heart attack when he shuffled into the kitchen at eight in the morning to find Isak sitting at the table, eating his third bowl of cereal.

 

“Am I still dreaming?” Eskild croaked, still stood in the doorway staring at Isak, who rolled his eyes and pushed his untouched coffee over to Eskild’s place at the table.

 

Eskild took it without thinking, settling into the seat opposite Isak and curling his hands around the mug. Both Eskild and Isak couldn’t survive without coffee first thing in the morning, and their conversations over breakfast mostly consisted of incoherent grunting.

 

“Why are you up so early on a Friday?” asked Eskild once he had drained the contents of the coffee cup, wincing as it scalded his tongue. Isak never understood why he didn’t just wait until it cooled, but then again, a lot of things Eskild did didn’t make a lot of sense to Isak.

 

Isak just shrugged, tapping his spoon against his cereal bowl. He hadn’t told Eskild about Even yet, not because he was keeping it a secret (he and Eskild were far past the point where Isak kept anything from him now) but because he wasn’t sure if there was anything to tell yet. Saying it out loud somehow felt like he was cursing it, and when Isak told Eskild, he wanted it to be filled with good news, not uncertainty.

 

Eskild stared at Isak for a few moments, taking in Isak’s still shower damp hair and the way he couldn’t quite meet Eskild’s eyes.

 

“How many bowls of cereal have you had this morning?” Eskild asked carefully. Isak shrugged again, but Eskild turned to look at the counter by the sink, where two spoons were already sitting. Eskild knew that Isak never used the same spoon twice - it was a habit he had gotten into and couldn’t quite break, even though it meant double the washing up for him.

 

“Okay, talk,” Eskild demanded, clapping his hands together. He was slowly becoming more animated, his movements less sluggish and eyes growing wider as the coffee began to kick in.

 

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Isak insisted, but Eskild just snorted.

 

“Isak, you’re awake before nine in the morning on a _Friday_ , you’ve showered, even though I know you already showered last night, and you’re stress-eating. You only ever eat this much cereal when you’re anxious about something,” Eskild ticked each of the reasons off on his fingers, and Isak let out a loud sigh. Eskild knew him far too well.

Isak knew he couldn’t lie to Eskild, he’d tried and failed many times before, so he figured he owed Eskild at least some sort of explanation.

 

“I’m meeting a boy,” Isak said quietly, keeping his eyes fixed on the table. Even though he wasn’t looking, Isak could feel the burn of Eskild’s grin boring into the top of his head.

 

“Is it the hot third year you’ve had a crush on forever?” Eskild said, his voice casual.

 

Isak’s head snapped up to glare at Eskild.

 

“How do you know about him?” Isak was almost certain he’d never mentioned Even to Eskild, unless his ridiculous pining had gotten to the point that he was now talking about Even subconsciously or something.

 

Eskild just rolled his eyes and reached over to pat Isak’s hand.

 

“Oh _please_ Isak, you’re not exactly quiet when you’re constantly complaining to Jonas about how badly you want to suck his dick,” Eskild said matter-of-factly, and Isak dropped the spoon with a clatter, his mouth gaping open.

 

Isak had forgotten that nothing in this godforsaken flat was ever a secret. Someone was always listening, and Isak had heard plenty of things he’d rather have erased from his memory forever.

 

“I don’t-” Isak began to argue, but Eskild just raised an eyebrow and patted Isak’s hand again, making Isak deflate and admit defeat. “Yes, it’s him.” he admitted with a sigh.

 

Eskild’s grin became blinding again, and Isak couldn’t help but smile back. Eskild’s excitement was infectious, and his faith in Isak and genuine concern about Isak’s life was something Isak was endlessly thankful for. Eskild had been there to let Isak know he cared about him when Isak had thought that no one did, and Isak could never repay him fully for that.

 

Isak hauled himself out of his chair and dropped his bowl into the sink, grimacing when the leftover milk dribbled down his fingers. He flicked the switch on the kettle as he passed, knowing Eskild would soon want another cup of coffee to get him through the morning. He ran a hand through his still wet hair and knew he needed to do something with it soon before it dried into a tangled mop on his head, so he headed towards his room, giving Eskild a nod as he got to the doorway.

 

“It’s okay to be nervous, you know, Isak,” Eskild said kindly as Isak was about to leave.

 

Isak turned to glare at Eskild, rolling his eyes and huffing out another sigh.

 

“I’m not _nervous_ ,” he protested, before disappearing off to his room and ignoring Eskild’s knowing grin.

 

Isak _was_ nervous. So nervous that he’d paced his room for half an hour and changed his shirt four times already, none of them seeming quite right. Today was a busy day, he had a party to go to tonight and classes to try and stay awake for later on in the afternoon, but all he could think of was his imminent visit to the coffee shop on his street. It wasn’t because the place was particularly interesting or the drinks were good (they were actually pretty shitty and over priced, honestly), but because Isak would take every opportunity he could get to see the boy who worked there over the weekends.

 

Isak had first seen Even in winter when he was exhausted from two days of barely any sleep, since he’d been fighting to finish his mountain of assignments. He was running late for his classes, as usual, and was suffering from a headache that made it feel like his skull was splitting open.

Isak figured he deserved a coffee for his suffering, 9AM lectures be damned, and he shuffled into the first store he could find, hoping caffeine would make him feel at least slightly more human. He wandered in and tugged off his hat, sighing gratefully at the heat that filled the small store. His breath got stuck halfway in his throat, however, when he saw the guy standing behind the counter.

He had his head down, busy typing something into the till, and he had his tongue stuck out at the corner of his mouth and his eyebrows knitted together as he prodded at the sticking buttons that beeped in protest. His hair was styled up into a quiff, but a few stray hairs had dropped down and curled onto his forehead, and when he looked up to grin at Isak, his eyes scrunching up and his face soft and kind, Isak was almost certain he was going to die.

 

Isak had never seen anyone before who made him feel like he’d been punched in the gut. This guy was beautiful, and Isak forgot how to function for a few moments as he took him in. The guy - Even, Isak learned from his nametag - mostly kept his head down as Isak ordered, and it was over in a few moments. Isak thought he had been stupid to even hope that Even had felt the same as Isak had when he saw him - the same, visceral, sudden jolt of something that had made Isak lose his breath.

 

But finally, after a lot of awkward conversations in the coffee shop (Isak soon made it his habit to go to there at least once a week, but would never admit that it was just to see Even for a few moments), Isak finally found his opportunity to talk to Even at Eva’s party. Even had been standing in the same spot all night, with his usual group of friends around him, all of them talking with their heads bent together, and Even tapping a rhythm out on his beer can. Isak had gotten into a bit of a habit of watching Even at parties they were both at, since he only saw him once a week at the coffee shop, and barely saw him at university because Even was two years ahead of Isak.

 

“You’re staring again,” said Jonas, elbowing Isak in the side. Isak groaned and flopped himself onto the sofa, sandwiching himself between Magnus and Jonas, whilst Mahdi took Isak’s place on the arm of the chair.

 

“I can’t help it,” Isak whined. “ _Look_ at him.”

 

As supportive as Isak’s friends were, they very quickly got sick of Isak complaining about the super hot guy who didn’t even know Isak existed, especially since Isak couldn’t work up the courage to do anything about it.

 

“Dude, you just need to go for it and talk to him. What have you got to lose?” Magnus said, flopping his head onto Isak’s shoulder when Isak shuffled closer to him.

 

“My sanity. My dignity. My will to live,” Isak deadpanned, and Mahdi kicked him in the leg with a snort.

 

“You’re being dramatic,” muttered Mahdi, earning hums of agreement from the other boys.

 

“You’ll regret it if you don’t do something soon, Is,” Jonas added, giving Isak’s leg a squeeze.

 

At some point in the night, Isak found his opportunity in the form of rescuing Even from a very drunk girl who was practically hanging off of Even’s neck whilst Even stood stock still, looking completely mortified. Isak hadn’t even known what he’d planned to do until he was by Even’s side, and he made a snap decision to pretend to be Even’s boyfriend, like Magnus had done for Isak so many times when he’d been hit on by creepy guys.

 

His gamble had paid off though, when Even had played along and then invited Isak outside with him, and Isak left that night with his heart feeling the lightest it had in a long time. He’d spent the whole evening talking to Even, and he’d finally, _finally,_ gotten to kiss him like Isak had wanted to for so long.

 

They’d planned to see each other again when Isak went in to get coffee the following Friday, and Isak hadn’t stopped thinking about Even since.  
Isak sighed and sat on his bed, pulling out his phone and groaning when he realised only a few minutes had passed. Even wouldn’t even have started his shift yet, and Isak didn’t want to seem too eager. He opened up the group chat with his friends and tried to stop himself fidgeting as he typed a message out to them.

 

 **Isak:**  
(09:43)  
Guys. Today is the day.

 

 **Mahdi:**  
(09:43)  
The day for what?

 

 **Jonas:**  
(09:44)  
Is something happening today?

 

 **Magnus:**  
(09:44)  
Do you have plans?

 

Isak grumbled at his ridiculous friends and grabbed a new shirt from his wardrobe, pulling it on before furiously typing out a reply.

 

 **Isak:**  
(09:46)

Today’s the day I’m seeing Even again?? I told you all about it.

 

 **Jonas:**  
(09:46)  
*eye roll emoji*

 

 **Mahdi:**  
(09:47)

Yes we KNOW Isak.

 

 **Magnus** :  
(09:48)  
You’ve mentioned Even and how wonderful and hot and funny he is at least fifty thousand times

 

 **Jonas:**  
(09:48)  
And how excited you are to see him again.  
Good luck, bro

 

 **Magnus:**  
(09:49)  
Isak’s getting laaaaaaiiiiiiiddddddd.

 

 **Mahdi:**  
(09:50)  
Don’t forget to get his number this time, idiot.

 

 **Isak:**  
(09:51)  
I hate you all.

  


Isak set off to the coffee shop five minutes before Even’s shift begun (not that he had it memorised or anything, he was just aware of Even’s work pattern - accidentally, of course). He tried, and failed, to stop himself from hurrying to the shop, since it was only a couple of minutes from his house. But when he turned the corner and reached the cheerful blackboard propped up outside, full of chalk doodles that were unmistakably Even’s, Isak froze.

He turned on his heel and bolted back around the corner, pulling his phone out of his pocket as he did so and immediately pressing the call button by Jonas’ name.

Jonas picked up on the second ring, and Isak barely gave him a chance to say hello before he spoke.

 

“Jonas, what if he’s forgotten about me?”

 

“Isak, he hasn’t-” Jonas began, but Isak interrupted again.

 

“What if I was just a drunken hookup that he regrets? Or he’s actually straight and just wanted to experiment like that guy with the buzzcut at Christmas?” Isak hadn’t even particularly liked that guy, but it still stung a little after they’d spent half the night making out in Isak’s bedroom when he went back to his girlfriend and thanked Isak for confirming his heterosexuality for him.

 

“First of all, that guy was a douchebag, I’m glad his girlfriend dumped him,” Jonas said, his voice full of venom. He took a deep breath before speaking again. “Secondly, Even isn’t straight, he was wearing that pin that Mahdi said was the...uh, pansexual colours, right?”

 

Isak grunted his confirmation - Mahdi had given them all a lecture on what he’d learnt about different sexualities after Magnus had a particularly dramatic crisis over whether he was straight or not. Mahdi turned up to class the next day with a folder full of fact sheets for each different sexuality, and even a couple of sheets about gender too. He handed them over wordlessly, giving Magnus a gentle smile and a nod, and Isak had almost cried over how kind his friends could be when they weren’t too busy making fun of one another.

 

“And Isak.” Jonas’ voice was half exasperated, half fond. “He likes you just as much as you like him.”

 

“How would _you_ know?” Isak asked, cringing at the petulant tone in his voice.

 

“Because he’s always staring at you like you’re the most amazing thing he’s ever seen,” Jonas replied, and Isak couldn’t help but grin.

 

“Well, I _am_ pretty amazing,” joked Isak, and Jonas chuckled. Isak could easily picture him rolling his eyes and smiling fondly at his phone.

 

“Shut up. Anyway, I have it on good authority that Even is an all round nice guy,” Jonas said proudly, and Isak narrowed his eyes.

“Did you...Have you been _asking_ people about him for me?” He asked incredulously.

 

“Just a few third years I know!” Jonas said, his voice just a little too high to be casual, and Isak was grinning so hard his face hurt.

 

“Oh my god, you went all detective on my crush for me,” he laughed.

 

“No I didn’t! I just casually brought him up to a few people. I had a feeling he’d be more than just a hookup for you, so I had to make sure he wasn’t into anything weird, you know?” Jonas said, and Isak’s heart swelled a little at how much his best friend cared.

 

“And is he? Into anything weird, I mean?” Isak asked.

 

Jonas made a pained noise and Isak’s heart dropped. Of course Even wasn’t one hundred percent perfect, he was smart and funny and ridiculously hot - there just _had_ to be a catch.

 

“Jonas. What is it?” Isak insisted.

 

“He’s-” Jonas began, before stopping with a sigh.

 

“ _Jonas.”_

 

Jonas huffed another long sigh, before talking so quickly Isak almost missed what he was saying. “The dude is like, _obsessed_ with Baz Luhrmann. Like, he thinks he’s the greatest director ever or some shit. Writes almost all of his papers on him and thinks he’s a total visionary.”

 

Isak gaped for a few moments, blinking down at the ground before he spoke slowly.

 

“That’s it? He likes a director you don’t?”

 

“No one in the right mind likes Baz Luhrmann, Isak. His films are superficial, overly colourful bullshit and-”

 

Isak cut Jonas off with a laugh that quickly became hysterical, and for a while he couldn’t speak, he just gasped in little breaths in between giggles whilst Jonas grumbled into his ear.

 

“That’s the only bad thing you could find out about him? Oh my god, he really is perfect,” Isak said finally, still laughing under his breath.

 

“Well, I wouldn’t count someone with the worst taste in films ever as _perfect_ ,” Jonas argued weakly, but Isak wasn’t listening. Isak wanted to thank any and every deity and cosmic movement that had had a hand in letting Isak meet someone like Even.

 

There was a moment of silence between the two boys once Isak had managed to stop laughing. Jonas knew that Isak wanted to say something more. It came with practice, knowing when your friend needed advice or reassurance or just a few moments to collect their thoughts. Jonas always seemed to know exactly what Isak needed, every single time.

 

“It just feels important. Even, he’s-” Isak sighed and tried to think of the right words. Even made something fizz inside of Isak’s stomach, made his heart stammer in a way that it never had before. Isak had had plenty of crushes on guys - most painfully unrequited - but none of them could even come close to the way he felt about Even.

 

“Special?” Jonas offered, and Isak could hear the smile in his voice.

 

“Yeah. Special,” replied Isak wistfully.

 

“Man, this is even worse than when you had a crush on the pizza delivery boy. I swear I ate enough pizza in those two months to last a lifetime,” Jonas groaned, and Isak sniggered.

 

“Yeah, but I got laid eventually, so it was worth it,” Isak said with a grin.

 

“I gained three kilos, Mags got seriously ill from all of the cheese, and Mahdi swears he’ll never eat another pizza again. It definitely wasn’t worth it,” Jonas deadpanned.

 

“Excuse me, remember when you made me sing that song you wrote to the girl you liked at school?” Isak shot back.

 

“Oh shut up, that was six _years_ ago, let it go,” Jonas grumbled.

 

“Okay, how about just a couple of weeks back when I spent the whole night before your big date with the hipster guy on the phone with you, giving you advice on how to give a decent blowjob? That scarred me for life, Jonas. _Life,_ ” Isak retorted, holding back his laughter when he heard Jonas groan.

 

“You _said_ you wouldn’t bring that up again!” Jonas whined, before adding, “I know what you’re doing Isak, you’re stalling. You’ve been waiting for this all week, go and get your boy, stop worrying so much.”

 

Isak let out a huffing sigh and checked the time. It was well past the start of Even’s shift now, and Jonas had been right when he said that Isak was stalling. The anxiety was gnawing away at him and making his finger tips tingle, and though he had been looking forward to seeing Even again so much that it had been the only thing on his mind for a full week, suddenly, it seemed too overwhelming.

 

“I’m nervous. This is so much more than the stupid pizza guy crush,” Isak admitted quietly.

 

“You’re allowed to be nervous. What you’re not allowed to do is run away when things get too much. I know your game, Valtersen, but I also know this is something you’ll spend a lot of time regretting if you give up on it now,” Jonas said.

 

Jonas knew Isak far too well - knew that Isak had spent so long repressing his feelings that sometimes allowing himself to feel them got a little bit too much. It usually ended up with him shoving everything away and putting himself back in the box he’d created so long ago.

 

Isak wanted to do this, or he at least wanted to try. He’d been brave enough to make the first step, now all he had to do was keep on moving.

 

“Okay,” Isak said finally. “I’m going in.”

 

“Good luck, Romeo,” Jonas said before hanging up and leaving Isak with nerves bubbling up in his chest.

 

*

 

The coffee shop was blissfully empty when Isak glanced into the window as he made his way to the door. He could see Even standing behind the counter, singing along to a song that Isak couldn’t hear. He was swaying on the spot and nodding his head along with the beat, causing more stray hairs to fall onto his forehead.

The minute Isak pushed the door open, Even’s head snapped up. His face split into the biggest and brightest grin Isak had ever seen, and Isak felt like he’d had the rug pulled out from under his feet. The night of the party had felt like some sort of dream, hazy and full of warmth and sweet kisses and soft touches, and Isak was maybe starting to think that once he saw him in the harsh light of day, Even in reality wouldn’t be anything like the fantasy Isak had made up. But there he was, with a smile that made Isak’s heart do somersaults, looking just as perfect as Isak remembered.

 

He made his way over to the counter, not even bothering to try and suppress his smile as Even bounced on his toes, holding a cup to his chest and waiting for Isak.

 

“Hi,” Even said, his voice a little raspy. Isak realised the cup in Even’s hands was covered in sharpie - full of little drawings that Isak couldn’t quite make out.

 

“Hel- _oh_ ,” Isak had begun to greet Even back just as Even thrust the cup in Isak’s direction, offering it to him. Isak’s brain was moving at half speed (it was an admittedly worrying effect Even had on him), and he ended up knocking the cup out of Even’s hand in a half aborted movement to grab it.

 

The lid popped off and contents of the cup went all over the counter, splashing up and onto Isak’s shirt (he immediately regretted picking the white shirt over the black), as well as all over Even’s hands and work apron.

 

“Shit, shit, shit,” Isak chanted, hurrying over to grab the paper towels in the corner before rushing back to Even, who was still frozen in the same position, staring at his hands.

 

“I’m so sorry, did it scald you?” Isak asked, reaching over the counter to gently grab Even’s hand, pulling it towards him and grabbing the paper towels again to wipe the dripping coffee off of his palms.

 

Even jolted when Isak touched him, and seemed to suddenly realise what was happening as he looked at the counter covered in coffee and the brown stains on Isak’s shirt.

 

“Fuck,” Even muttered, then looked up to Isak, his face dropping into a frown. “That was completely my fault, I’m so-” he began, but Isak interrupted.

 

“No, I knocked it out of your hand,” Isak insisted, before grabbing Even’s hand again. “Is it burning you?” He asked.

 

Even blinked dumbly at Isak a few times, before staring at his hands, and then back to Isak.

 

“What?” Even was still staring at Isak, and Isak was starting to wonder if he was having some sort of nervous breakdown.

 

“Your _hands_ , Even. Did the coffee burn you?” Isak said, his voice urgent. If he’d managed to burn the skin off of his crush's hands on only their second time meeting, Isak was completely ready to give up existing forever.

 

“Oh!” Even blinked a few times more and looked down at his hands, flexing his fingers as if he’d just remembered they existed. “No, I’m fine. The coffee was almost cold anyway. I, uh- I maybe made it a little too early,” he said, smiling at Isak before grabbing the paper towels to mop up the coffee on the counter.

 

“I’m sorry. I’ll make you another in a second, let me just clean this up,” Even said, and he blanched as Isak reached over to grab the cup that was currently rolling down the counter, spattered with coffee stains.

 

Even tried to reach it first, but Isak had already picked it up and was examining all of the little drawings the paper cup was covered in. They were all cartoons of various things - Isak could make out a cocktail umbrella, a pair of coats, some steaming cups of coffee, and a little cartoon Isak, bundled up in winter clothes. In between all of the drawings was what Isak assumed was Even’s number, surrounded by a bunch of cartoon hearts, and Isak grinned down at the cup, spinning it around in his hands.

 

“I was just doodling when it was quiet this morning, you don’t have to keep it,” Even muttered, sounding almost bashful.

 

Isak gasped dramatically and looked up to scowl at Even, trying hard to fight his laughter when he saw how bewildered Even looked at his reaction.

 

“I am _absolutely_ keeping this, are you kidding?” he insisted, and earned a tiny smile from Even in return.

 

Even asked his manager if he could have his break to clean up and talk to Isak, who immediately granted it after greeting Isak. She gave Even a knowing look and whispered something in Even’s ear that made him roll his eyes and stammer out a thanks.

 

Even gave Isak another coffee before disappearing off into the bathroom to clean himself up, and Isak took a seat at the back of the store. He smiled absently at his drink that had a chocolate powdered love heart on top, before picking up the empty paper cup and examining all of the drawings. He took pictures of each of them, sending a few to the boy’s group chat followed by one too many heart emojis, and receiving various reactions of hysterical excitement in return. Isak made sure to save Even’s number this time, regretting that he hadn’t done it the night of the party. If he had gotten Even’s number then, he wouldn’t have spent the past week worrying about whether Even had forgotten about him or not.

 

Isak was frowning at one particular doodle when Even reappeared, no longer covered in coffee or wearing his saturated work apron. He’d gotten a drink of his own, and sat down opposite Isak with a smile, but his face dropped when he noticed Isak’s expression.

 

“Is everything okay?” he asked, and Isak looked up, still frowning at Even and pointing to the drawing.

 

“Is this a dick?” said Isak, causing Even to choke on his drink. Even coughed and spluttered, thumping his chest with his fist, whilst Isak tried desperately not to laugh at him.

 

“ _What_?” Even choked out eventually, and Isak jabbed his finger at the drawing again, raising an eyebrow.

 

“Did you draw a dick on my cup? Honestly, Even, I’ve never had someone let me know they wanted to get in my pants by drawing penises on my coffee cup before. This is a whole new kind of flirting,” Isak joked, laughing gleefully at the way Even sputtered for a few moments, his cheeks slowly turning red.

 

“It’s not a dick, Isak, it’s a _telescope,_ ” Even explained when he’d composed himself, and _oh_ , Isak supposed that made at least slightly more sense than a penis. “You told me that you liked space and the stars and things, and I was trying to draw things that you liked.”

 

Realisation dawned on Isak, at the same time Even’s mouth curled up into a sly smile. He waggled his eyebrows comically, and leaned in closer to Isak, who could feel his face heating up under Even’s stare.

 

“But good to know what’s on _your_ mind,” Even muttered, sniggering when Isak mumbled an indignant ‘fuck you’ under his breath, trying to stop himself from blushing so furiously.

 

It turned out that even sober, talking to Even was effortless. It was just as easy as it had been the first night - like something between them had clicked straight away. Isak should be scared at how attached he’d gotten to Even so quickly, how rapidly Even had became an important fixture in his life, but he wasn’t. It just felt right.

 

“So, your friends. Are you all on the same course together?” Even asked, drawing out patterns with his fingers onto the tabletop. Isak followed the movement for a few moments before shaking his head.

 

“No, we all picked different courses. Magnus doesn’t even go to university, he decided it wasn’t for him. Most of us met at school, but me and Jonas have known each other almost our whole lives,” Isak explained. Even nodded along, head tilted slightly to the side and eyes gleaming as if Isak was talking about the secrets of the universe, not his friend’s career choices.

 

“Is Jonas the guy with the…” Even gestured to his face and waggled his eyebrows, and Isak burst into a fit of laughter, nodding his confirmation.

 

“What about you, did you meet your friends at uni?” asked Isak, not missing the way Even’s face melted into a fond smile at the mention of his friends.

 

“Me and Mik are on the same course, but we all met years ago, too. Most of the others have jobs, apart from Elias. He’s on a gap year that’s lasted two years so far,” Even said. Isak knew which one Mikael was, the one with limbs almost as gangly as Even and a smile that overtook his whole face. He knew Elias too, by association.

 

“I know Elias, he’s my friend Sana’s brother,” Isak said with a smile. He only really knew of Elias through Sana complaining about how loud and annoying he was. There was never any malice in her voice when she spoke about him, though. Isak knew Sana well enough to spot the exasperated fondness she had for people she loved most.

 

Even nodded enthusiastically and grinned at the mention of Sana, and Isak knew that feeling well. It was an honour to be close enough to Sana to understand what she was really like - fiercely loyal and endlessly kind.

 

“Elias and Mikael have been my friends for the longest time. Elias introduced us to Adam, and Mik to Mutta. Yousef came in a little later when I met him at school, but it feels like we’ve all known each other forever,” Even said. Isak understood that. It had always been Jonas and Isak, but Mahdi and Magnus had fit in with their little group almost seamlessly, and Isak couldn’t remember a time when it wasn’t the four of them together.

 

“What do you and Mikael study?” asked Isak, and once again Even’s face lit up, like it did whenever he was about to talk about something he was passionate about. Isak remembered how much it had made him smile the first time they talked, and it had the same effect on him now.

 

“Film. We both want to be directors, but we’re very different. I’m the hopeless romantic who loves epic love stories full of colour, and he’s more technical. He’s all about gripping thrillers and darkness.” So Jonas had been right in what he had found out about Even. It fit his personality perfectly, Isak thought.

“We always joke about how we’ll be rivalling directors one day trying to outdo each other. I like letting my imagination go, but Mik likes to have a point. Everything he makes has some sort of message, like a political statement or something. Sometimes I think stories should just be nice, like a dream. They don’t need an ulterior motive to be good.” Even’s patterns on the table got quicker as he talked, and Isak could work out an ‘M’, and three different sized love hearts.

 

“It sounds like Jonas and Mikael would get on well. A day isn’t complete without one of Jonas’ rants on society and its downfalls,” Isak sniggered, and Even laughed with him.

 

“I’m sure all of them would get on great. Maybe we should all get together some time?” Even suggested.

 

There was something sort of amazing about the thought of Isak and Even’s friends all coming together as one big group -  Even’s world and Isak’s world mingling together. Something felt just right about it, and so Isak nodded with a grin.

 

“I’d like that,” he said quietly, and the delight was clear on Even’s face.

 

“Me too. Maybe we could -”

 

Even’s phone trilled loudly, cutting off their conversation, and Even frowned down at it for a few moments, letting out a long sigh before quickly typing something and shoving his phone back into his pocket.

 

“Sorry. That was-” Even began, and then his face dropped. Isak watched him take a shaky breath before he spoke again. “That was my therapist. I was meant to see her after work but she’s had to cancel.”

 

Isak just nodded and took another sip of his drink. He knew a lot of people went to therapy - Jonas had went for a few sessions last year after his parents divorced out of the blue last year, and Isak knew how much it had helped his mum, both in the past and the present.

 

They stayed silent for a few moments, Even fidgeting in his seat and opening and closing his mouth a few times as if he wanted to say something more. Isak waited, reaching over so that he could tangle his and Even’s fingers together loosely, and Isak felt a little proud when Even seemed to relax slightly from Isak’s touch.

 

“I’m bipolar,” Even said, so quietly Isak almost didn’t hear. “I’ve just had my meds reduced and she wanted to check up on me, to see how I’m doing.”

 

Isak nodded and gave Even’s hand a squeeze.

 

“And how are you doing?” he asked. Even looked terrified. All of the colour had drained out of his face and he was bouncing his leg up and down anxiously as he kept his eyes fixed on the table.

 

Isak understood how scary it could be, admitting something that people might judge you for. He didn’t miss the looks he got when he talked about his mother and the care facility she lived in, but he didn’t want to hide her anymore like he used to. She deserved so much more than that. Isak deserved more than that too. Keeping secrets was exhausting, he knew that all too well.

 

“Good. Better, now I get to see you again,” Even murmured, finally looking up to meet Isak’s eyes and moving his fingers so that he could hold Isak’s hand properly. Even managed a wobbly smile, the panic slowly disappearing from his features, and Isak grinned right back.

 

Isak quickly changed the subject, noticing Even’s discomfort, but he still held the information Even had given him so willingly close to his heart. It meant a lot, baring parts of yourself to someone that they could so easily use to damage you, and Isak knew it took a whole lot of bravery each time it was admitted, no matter how many times they’d done it before.

 

Even’s break was only twenty minutes, and before they both knew it, it was over. Though, Isak figured, even if they’d had hours together, it still wouldn’t be enough. Conversation never ran dry, and it never felt forced or awkward - Isak hadn’t found it this easy to talk to someone in a very long time.

 

“I’m sorry I ruined your shirt,” said Even, gesturing to the three large coffee stains that covered the front of Isak’s shirt, but Isak just grinned and shook his head.

 

“Don’t be, it adds character,” Isak joked, and Even laughed loudly, throwing his head back and wrapping his arms around his middle as he took in gasping breaths. Isak was certain that he’d never get bored of seeing Even happy. He wanted to make him laugh and smile as often as he could.

 

Isak didn’t want this to end. He didn’t want this feeling he got whenever he was around Even - this incredible lightness that made him feel like he was glowing - to leave him just yet. And so, as they made their way to the doors, Isak suddenly stopped and spun on his heel, almost bumping into Even’s chest as he did so.

 

“When do you finish today?” he asked, and Even’s mouth slowly curled up into a smile.

 

“I finish at five, why?” Even replied, and suddenly the nerves came back to Isak with full force, making his throat dry and his ears ring.

 

What if Even said no? What if seeing Isak when they were both sober had made Even realise that Isak wasn’t worth his time? There was no way Even felt the same way about Isak as Isak did for Even. Isak had never felt anything so all consuming and dizzying for another person before. He knew it was ridiculous and definitely too soon, but he couldn’t stop his heart from squeezing painfully whenever Even smiled. Isak had to ask, he _had_ to know, because even if Even felt only a fraction of what Isak felt, he knew this could be something amazing.

 

“Do you, maybe, want to do something? With me, I mean,” Isak voice was maybe a little too high pitched to be casual, and he kept his eyes firmly on the ground as he spoke.

 

Isak didn’t need to wait long for Even’s answer, because it came before Isak even had a chance to finish his sentence.

 

“I’d love to,” he said softly, and at that, Isak looked up again, marvelling at how beautiful Even looked when he smiled.

 

Isak promised to go home and change his shirt (and shower, again, since the smell of coffee was now engrained into his skin) before meeting Even back at the shop when his shift finished. Both of them had a few moments of grinning stupidly at each other, before Even suddenly lurched forward to press a kiss to Isak’s lips. It was quick and sort of painful, since Even put a bit too much force into it and they ended up headbutting each other, noses bumping and teeth clattering together. But even so, it made Isak’s heart jump and bounce off of his ribs, and he couldn’t believe that even the worst kiss he’d ever had could still make him feel like that, as long as it was with Even.

 

“Sorry,” Even mumbled, ducking his head after he’d taken a step back. “I’ve just really been wanting to kiss you again ever since you walked through those doors.”

 

Isak’s face melted into the fondest smile as he stepped forward and wrapped his hand around the back of Even’s neck, pulling him in for another kiss. This time, it was slow and careful and endlessly perfect, and as Even wrapped his arms around Isak’s waist and pulled him closer, Isak was absolutely certain that he wanted to spend the rest of his life kissing Even.

 

They broke apart eventually, after Even’s manager reappeared to remind Even that he was five minutes past the end of his break time, and Even muttered his apologies before pulling Isak into a tight hug.

 

“I’ll see you later,” he whispered, pressing one last kiss into the spot just behind Isak’s ear before letting him go.

 

“Can’t wait,” Isak replied, and the grin he got in return was positively blinding.

 

Even insisted on giving Isak his hoodie to walk home in, and Isak gratefully accepted, partly because it had begun to drizzle outside and Isak had stupidly forgotten his coat, but mostly to hide the ridiculous coffee stains that covered his shirt.

(If, once Isak had left the store and set off for home, he buried his face in the sleeves and inhaled, smiling dumbly at the smell that was so unmistakably _Even_ , well, no one had to know.)

 

Isak pulled out his phone and opened up the boy’s chat again. He’d promised to let them know how seeing Even again had went - they were maybe slightly too invested in Isak’s love life, and though Isak pretended to be exasperated by it, he actually found it rather horribly endearing.

 

 **Isak:**  
(11:47)  
Guys, I won’t be coming out with you tonight  
I have a date with the hottest guy in the world

 

 **Jonas:**  
(11:48)  
So I’m guessing it went well then?

 

 **Mahdi:**  
(11:48)  
That’s convenient, since you owe us beer. Again.

 

 **Magnus:**  
(11:49)  
Are you kidding???  
You’re ditching us for a cute guy????  
What happened to bros before hoes man??

 

 **Isak:**  
(11:50)  
Magnus bros before hoes doesn’t apply to gay guys.  
There’s no hoes involved. That’s the whole point.

 

 **Mahdi:**  
(11:51)  
You should just invite him out with us.  
He seems chill.

 

 **Isak:**  
(11:51)  
Absolutely not.  
I don’t want to terrify him just yet.  
This one’s sticking around for a while, I hope.

 

 **Magnus:**  
(11:52)  
So you’re just betraying us?  
We’re your best friends Isak!

 

 **Jonas:**  
(11:53)  
Look at you Is, finally ready to commit  
When’s the wedding?  
(Ring me, asshole. I need details.)

 

Isak rolled his eyes but couldn’t help but laugh despite himself. He’d ring Jonas once he got home to tell him all about it and thank him for the pep talk he’d given him that morning, and he’d buy his friends the beer he owed them by way of an apology. Isak suddenly felt a wave of overwhelming contentment that washed over him and made his smile grow even wider as he turned the corner for home.

 

 **Isak:**  
(11:55)  
Give me ten mins, J.  
And Mags, none of you are even half as hot as he is.  
So yes, I’m absolutely betraying you.

 

 **Magnus:**  
(11:55)  
RUDE.  
I’m happy for you though.  
Even if you are a traitor.

 

 **Isak:**  
(11:56)  
Love you too, Mags.

 

 **Mahdi:**  
(11:57)  
Have a nice night bro

 

Sometimes, Isak looked back on the worst times of his life. He thought of how miserable he used to be, and how everything seemed so grey and dull. All the colours and sounds were muted and the air thick and heavy, weighing him down. He’d felt so alone, so lost and out of place, with anxiety and an awful, bitter sadness constantly gnawing away at him. And then he thought of days like today, where he was walking home wearing the hoodie of a boy he’d had a crush on for months, with plans to see that boy again in just a few hours. Things weren’t perfect, but finally Isak could enjoy things again. He could think of his life and his friends and his future and he could smile. He could smile because he had the most important thing that he hadn’t realised he’d missed so much, until it finally came back to him.

 

He had hope.  



	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You barely see their parents, but their friends? You can’t avoid those. If their friends don’t like you, you’re fucked. Remember that girl I dated for like, two weeks?” Magnus explained, and all of the other boys made varying noises of disgust.
> 
> “She was mean,” Isak grumbled.
> 
> “She told you that being bi was something you just needed to grow out of,” Jonas scowled.
> 
> “And told Isak he was too good looking to be gay,” Mahdi added.
> 
> “Exactly!” Magnus snapped his fingers, “You guys hated her, and I was never going to keep dating someone that my best friends hated.”
> 
> There was silence for a few beats, before Isak groaned and sunk deeper into the sofa.
> 
> “I wasn’t nervous before, but _now _I am,” he whined.__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again!! Because I can't quite let this verse go, it now has a part three. This is a little different from the other two parts, for starters because its over 2k longer, but also because this part is from Jonas' point of view. It's set a little into the future of this universe, just over a month after part two, and is about Even's and Isak's friends coming together and getting to know each other.  
> Once again, a thousand thank you's to [Sarah](http://sanashappinessisendgame.tumblr.com/) for beta'ing this for me and being so kind and supportive even though she already has a ton of stuff to do - you're the best!  
> I hope you like this! <3

When Jonas was a child, he’d been so in awe of everything and everyone. He thought everyone was just as kind as his mother was, thought the world was, and always would be, bright and happy and full of good.  
He slowly started to learn that wasn’t the truth, that the news every day was full of death and destruction and suffering, and people would often be cruel for no reason. From the children at school who would point and make fun of him behind his back, to people on the street who would stare at his sister with judging looks when everything in the world got a little too much for her, and the only way she knew how to cope was to scream and cry and beg for it to go. It was hard to see the world as a good place when there were so many terrible things going on that weighed down on Jonas’ shoulders, even if they didn’t directly affect him. It made the world seem so much darker than the ultraviolet colours he used to see it in as a child.

  
Now, Jonas tried his best to appreciate the little things. Instead of looking at everything as a whole, he picked out the best parts, just for himself, and held them close to his heart. Good music that made something tighten in his chest, the way the sky looked just as the sun was setting, the feeling of the air whipping past him when he was on his skateboard. All the small things that he could collect together and make that weight on his shoulders feel a little bit lighter.

  
One of Jonas’ favourite things, the thing that made the world seem the brightest it could ever be, was seeing the people he loved happy. He was sure his sister’s delighted laugh was the best sound in the world, right next to the way his mother hummed out a tune as she painted, her eyes gleaming. He often had moments of just sitting back and watching his friends when they were all together, laughing loudly and making fun of each other, and though he never said it out loud, he appreciated each of them so much that it made his chest ache. Isak’s happiness, especially, was one of Jonas’ favourite things. His true, unreserved joy that made his eyes wrinkle at the corners and his laughter come out loud and unreserved. Jonas hadn’t realised how much Isak’s happiness meant to him until it was absent for a long time, when all of Isak’s smiles were small and forced, and he covered his face whenever laughter bubbled up in his throat as if he didn’t deserve it. 

  
As much as Jonas knew about Isak and his parents, it still wasn’t enough to know the whole story, and he knew that Isak had kept a lot of stuff from Jonas, buried secrets inside himself to fester unspoken. His best friend became a shadow of the person Jonas remembered, and Jonas was ashamed to admit that it had taken him far too long to notice the way Isak was always hunched over, to notice the dark circles under his eyes, or the way he flinched whenever Jonas reached out to touch him. He’d been too wrapped up in his own trivial problems, and taken Isak’s word when he reassured him that things were okay that he’d left Isak alone in the dark for far too long. Jonas was sure that he’d always feel guilty for that. 

  
Isak was the strongest person Jonas knew. His childhood had ended far sooner than Jonas’, and he was suddenly forced into caring for not only himself, but his mother too. He had taken it all in his stride, barely stumbling as he dealt with his mother’s breakdown and his father running away like the coward he was, and Jonas should have known it was only a matter of time before Isak’s energy ran out.

  
Isak had kept most of it to himself, only telling Jonas what he needed to know - that he had moved out of home, but he was safe. For a while Jonas had felt stupidly betrayed that Isak had kept so much from Jonas when they were supposed to share everything. But that was just Isak’s nature, Jonas learned. He always saw himself as the least important, figured his problems weren’t worth bothering everyone with, and buried his problems and emotions away, until he felt nothing at all.

  
When Isak slowly began putting the pieces of himself back together and started to reach out to people again instead of cowering away, Jonas was honoured to be able to watch Isak grow back into himself and allow himself to stand up tall once more. The day Isak had choked out that he liked boys to Jonas, sat on a park bench in the middle of winter, with ghosting breaths and red noses, Jonas had felt so much erupt inside of him that he couldn’t possibly describe most of it. One emotion that rang clear and settled inside of Jonas’ heart, that made him grin widely as he squeezed Isak’s shoulder and nudged their knees together, was pride. 

  
Jonas’ felt an overwhelming wave of nostalgia as he and Isak settled onto the same bench from when Isak had told Jonas his biggest secret with wide eyes and shaking hands, but as he looked over to Isak and saw the way his eyes shone and he grinned at Jonas without any reservation, Jonas knew both of them were so far from the boys they used to be. 

  
“Wow, this is weird. I never thought I’d have an emotional attachment to a bench,” said Isak, as if he could read Jonas’ mind. He picked at some of the flaking paint on the wood of the seat, and Jonas laughed as he watched the chips of paint fall onto the pavement. 

  
“Maybe we should get a plaque on it, like old married couples do,” suggested Jonas, and Isak ducked his head and laughed, the sound ringing through the quiet park.

  
“What would it say? ‘ _The bench where friends come out to each other_?’” Joked Isak, and Jonas laughed again as he shook his head and nudged his toe into Isak’s chin.  

  
Jonas had brought Isak to the same bench when he’d admitted that he was bisexual, or rather, he’d explained to Isak in a panic that he thought it wasn’t just girls he was attracted to, and Isak had sat with Jonas until it was dark, talking it out with him and letting him know that it was okay.

  
“Maybe just _‘the bench dedicated to best friends and their heart to hearts’_ ,” offered Jonas, and Isak’s face softened as he nudged Jonas’ leg in return. 

  
They sat in silence for a while, and Jonas watched the trees in front of them sway in the wind, the rustling of the leaves almost deafening when a particularly strong gust came. He watched the people around the park running and yelling and screaming, watched dogs barking and chasing frantic birds across the grass. Despite all of the chaos he could see, Jonas felt at peace. Things felt okay, and Jonas was allowing himself to revel in it for a while. 

  
Eventually, Isak cleared his throat and sat up a little straighter, and Jonas knew he was lining the words up inside of his head, getting ready to speak them out loud. 

  
“So, you know me and Even are, like, a thing?” Isak began, and Jonas snorted. 

  
“I had no idea,” he deadpanned, earning a punch to the arm. “Ow. Yes, I know you and Even are dating, and have been for, what, a month?” 

  
“Forty-three days,” Isak muttered, the tips of his ears beginning to turn red. 

  
“Right, forty-three days. And things are great and you like him a lot and everyone is so glad that you finally got your shit together.” Jonas made sure his tone wasn’t _too_ teasing, because he really was happy for Isak. He’d not seen Isak this happy in a long time, and it made Jonas’ chest glow warmly as he watched his best friend become filled with so much joy the more time he and Even spent together.  

  
Isak was wringing his hands together and nodding down at his feet, the tell that he was thinking about what to say next. Isak carefully calculated everything he did, always worried about the effect of what he said or did would have on other people. Whenever Isak spoke out of anger or frustration, he immediately reeled away from it and regretted it, even if it barely affected the other person. He’d spent too long tiptoeing around and still struggled to speak freely, but he was working on it. 

  
“Mikael and Even are having a party at their flat at the weekend, and they’ve invited us. All of us, I mean, so you can all meet each other properly,” said Isak eventually. He had a little crease between his eyebrows, and was still twiddling his fingers a little, but he slowly nodded to himself as he spoke, letting the worlds settle into the air around them. 

  
Until now, Isak had kept Even and his friends rather separate. They saw Even almost every morning at university, as he said polite hello’s to the boy’s before kissing Isak softly and hurrying off to his lectures, and most evenings Isak and Jonas stopped off at the coffee shop Even worked in, Isak leaning over the counter to kiss Even’s cheek as he handed them their drinks with a bright smile. Jonas, Magnus, and Mahi had also had a hand in crafting a lot of texts Isak had sent to Even, as well as Isak talking about Even whenever he could. Jonas always rolled his eyes whenever Isak brought up Even’s newest uni project or the fact he cooked Isak a three course meal just for fun, but really, Jonas was so happy to see the way Isak’s eyes shimmered as he talked about Even that he didn’t mind listening to the same story three times over.

  
But Jonas had yet to sit down and properly talk to Even, to connect all of the little snippets of information Isak had given him and make Even into a more solid thought in his head. Even was still just an abstract idea for Jonas, still the nameless boy Isak had had a crush on for so long that it became almost unbearable. 

  
“Is that a bad thing?” Jonas asked cautiously. He thought it was a good idea, finally getting to bring Isak’s two separate worlds - his friend’s world, and the world he and Even were starting to create, together. But Isak’s tone didn’t give away how he felt about it.

  
Isak’s frown deepened a little, but he shook his head.

  
“So, what are you so worried about?” questioned Jonas. Sometimes how Isak felt was transparent. When he was unguarded and unthinking his emotions flashed across his face easily. But sometimes, Isak’s features became so clouded that trying to decipher what he was feeling was impossible. 

  
“I just-” Isak began, before taking a deep breath and running his hand through his hair, his fingers getting tangled in his curls. “It feels like it’s a big thing, you know?”

  
Jonas nodded, slowly starting to work out what Isak meant. This was his first serious relationship, and though Jonas knew how much Isak liked Even, Isak couldn’t help but be cautious. This was unknown territory to Isak, and he was still finding his footing. 

  
“It doesn’t have to be a big thing. We know Even, we’re chill with him, and I’m sure his friends are just the same with you,” said Jonas, noticing how Isak tensed up a little at the mention of Even’s friends, letting Jonas know where his insecurities lay. “It’s just a party, not a day in court, Isak. Even’s opinion of you won’t change,” Jonas added.  
  
  
Isak sighed and nodded, leaning back into the bench and looking up to the sky. “I know, but what his friends think of me matters too. I don’t want them to hate me,” Isak mumbled. 

  
Jonas thought the concept of Even’s friends not liking Isak was frankly ridiculous, but he knew that Isak wouldn’t accept that as an answer. 

  
“I barely know Even, but I know that I like him because you do, and I trust your judgement. I’m sure Even’s friends think just the same. Even likes you, a lot.” Isak’s mouth turned up into a tiny smile as Jonas spoke, his shoulders slowly starting to drop, and so Jonas pushed on. “So I’m sure that his friends like you too, because you make him happy. They don’t have to love and worship you, but none of them have any reason to hate you.”

  
Isak hummed and nodded, before muttering a thanks to Jonas, bumping their shoulders together, and they fell back into silence for a while, both lost in their own heads. Isak’s phone pinged loudly, and he struggled to pull it out of his pocket. From the way his face broke into a grin when he saw what was on the screen, Jonas knew exactly who was texting him. 

  
“So things are good then, between you and Even?” asked Jonas, and Isak took a few seconds to reply, still grinning at his phone as he typed a response back.

  
“Yeah,” he finally said, a little breathlessly. “Things are great.”

  
Jonas was starting to see a whole other side of Isak now that he was with Even. It definitely wasn’t a bad thing, in fact quite the opposite. Isak was still Isak, he was just a little bit louder, brighter, happier.

  
Isak had spent the past few years of his life in particular relearning himself again, allowing himself to just be him, with no lies or pretence or guilt weighing down heavily on him. In the short time Isak had known him, Even had seemed to help with that. He made Isak a unique sort of happy, one that Jonas had never seen before but loved the most. Isak had said that Even was special and Jonas felt it through Isak too - the nervous energy that rolled off of Isak in their first few weeks was unmistakable, but the giddy joy that came once they had settled together was almost tangible to all of Isak’s friends.

  
“So, is he the man of your dreams like you thought he would be?” teased Jonas. He’d never seen Isak react this way to someone he liked. Magnus decided he was in love with someone new every week, and Jonas knew he wasn’t really much better, but he at least didn’t announce all of his desperate crushes like Magnus did. 

  
Isak snorted and jabbed Jonas in the ribs with his fingers, making Jonas yelp.

  
“I never said he was the man of my dreams,” he insisted.

  
“You said, and I quote, ‘I swear he’s one of my dreams come to life, guys’,” Jonas replied smugly, trying to imitate Isak’s pathetically wistful voice from the pre-game the boys had after the first time Isak had seen Even. 

  
They’d all been a little taken aback, really. Isak had never been this pathetic over a boy, not even close. From then, Jonas knew Even becoming a permanent fixture in Isak’s life was inevitable.

  
“That’s not the same thing, and besides, I was drunk,” Isak muttered indignantly. Jonas just laughed and shook his head, and he could tell Isak was trying to fight a smile too. 

  
“So, is he as good as the men in your dreams?” asked Jonas, hauling himself up off the bench and turning to offer Isak a hand up too.

  
Isak laughed under his breath, before grabbing Jonas’ hand and standing up to face him. 

  
“Nope. He’s better,” Isak grinned, and Jonas could almost feel the happiness seeping out of Isak’s skin and into his through their still clasped hands.  
  
*  
  
Jonas didn’t need to knock when he went to Isak’s flat anymore. Isak knew he was coming and always unlocked the door ready for Jonas’ arrival, so the minute he got to the door he pushed it open, calling out a hello. He kicked off his shoes next to Isak’s worn sneakers and dumped his coat on top of them, adding to the pile of hoodies and jackets. He shot a smile to Linn, who was sprawled across the sofa with her hood up and hair strewn across her face so that he could only make out her eyes. By the way her eyes scrunched up a little as she waggled her fingers in a half hearted wave, Jonas assumed she was smiling back.

  
He could hear Isak’s unmistakable laughter coming from the kitchen, as well as Even’s voice mumbling softly. Jonas edged in slowly, quietly, and it wasn’t because he was bothered about seeing his best friend in a potentially compromising position, since he was sure he and Isak were past that point of embarrassment. Both Isak and Even seemed to be incapable and unwilling of keeping their hands to themselves anyway, so Jonas interrupting would barely make a difference. But Jonas stayed silent as he entered the room, because when Isak and Even were together, they seemed to create this bubble of quiet contentment that surrounded them both, and it always felt so wrong to burst it.

  
Even was perched up on the table, and Isak was standing in between his legs. Isak had his hands on Even’s shoulders, his thumbs brushing rhythmically across Even’s collarbones, and Even had his hands curled around Isak’s waist, fingers drumming out a beat that seemed to move in time with Isak’s laughter. Their heads were close together, foreheads touching and noses bumping whenever Isak talked. Even was looking up at Isak and grinning, and Isak was beaming right back at him, and Jonas felt something glow pleasantly in his chest.

  
“Why don’t you just stay again tonight?” Isak suggested, voice quiet as if their conversation was a secret. Jonas felt almost bad for overhearing them talk to each other; it felt like an intrusion, somehow. 

  
“I need to go home at some point, Isak. Besides, I’ve run out of clothes,” Even insisted, but even Jonas could tell he was ready to cave in at any minute.

  
“You can just borrow some of mine,” Isak said simply with a shrug, moving one hand up to thread it into Even’s hair. Even leaned into the touch and began trailing his fingers up and down Isak’s ribs slowly. 

  
“Your clothes are too small for me,” argued Even with a sly smile. Isak gasped and gave Even a push with the hand still on his shoulder, taking a step back. 

  
“They are not, idiot. I’m not _that_ small,” he muttered indignantly, but didn’t protest when Even curled a hand around Isak’s forearm and pulled him back towards the table, his heels hooking around the back of Isak’s knees. 

  
“You’re tiny,” replied Even with a grin. “Your jeans are like shorts on me.”

  
“You’re so full of shit,” Isak tutted, rolling his eyes. “You’re an inch taller than me, at best.”  
  
  
“Nope, I am a giant. That’s why you always want to kiss me when I’m sitting down, so you feel taller,” Even straightened himself up and stuck his chin in the air, laughing delightedly at Isak’s unimpressed scoff.

  
“I don’t care _where_ you are when I’m kissing you,” Isak said, his voice growing soft. He settled his hands on Even’s thighs and leant in, and Even wrapped his arms around Isak’s waist, pulling him as close as he could. “As long as I get to kiss you.”

  
Even’s grin grew impossibly wider as Isak brushed his and Even’s noses together, before moving his head down and pressing a kiss to the hinge of Even’s jaw, then to his cheek, and then to his temple. Just as he was about to kiss Even properly, Jonas cleared his throat, and Isak groaned and buried his face into Even’s neck, his fingers curling into fists in the back of Even’s shirt.

  
“Hi Jonas,” Isak mumbled into Even’s neck, and Even turned his head to grin sheepishly at Jonas, his cheeks slowly turning red. Jonas felt a weird surge of pride at the fact that his best friend could recognise it was him without even looking.

  
“Hi Jonas,” Even echoed, unhooking his heels from around Isak’s legs and recovering from his fleeting embarrassment. “Are you hungry? We made food and there’s still some left over.”

  
Jonas mirrored Even’s smile and nodded, moving over to the cupboards to start pulling out a plate and cutlery for himself. 

  
“I only visit Isak to steal his food and kick his ass at FIFA,” he replied, earning a kick to the back of his leg from Isak, who had appeared next to him and started to grab cups from the shelf above Jonas’ head.

  
“Bullshit, I am the master of FIFA. You all bow down to my talents,” replied Isak, and both Jonas and Even snorted simultaneously.

  
“Hey man, whatever helps you sleep better at night,” joked Jonas as Even pressed an apologetic kiss into Isak’s hair.

  
“I hate you both,” muttered Isak with a scowl. Jonas sniggered under his breath as Even pulled Isak into a hug.

  
“No you don’t, we’re your favourite people,” Even grinned, stepping back to cup Isak’s face in his hands.

  
Isak refused to meet Even’s eyes, trying desperately to hide the smile that was threatening to take over his face, whilst Even ducked his head down to try and keep Isak’s gaze.

  
“I’m breaking up with you. Going to find someone who actually appreciates my talents, and doesn’t dribble on me in their sleep,” Isak muttered. Even gasped, his eyes going wide with mock shock as Isak bit his lip to stop his laughter escaping.

  
Jonas hid his own laughter in his hand, settling down at the table with his food as he watched Even dig his fingers into Isak’s sides, making Isak yelp and squirm.

  
“Oh well, it was nice while it lasted,” Even sighed, taking a step back from Isak and dropping his hands. “I guess I should go then.”

  
“I guess you should,” Isak nodded, but stepped back into Even’s space again, wrapping his fingers around Even’s wrist. Jonas rolled his eyes and went back to eating as Isak tilted his head up and Even ducked his to meet him halfway so that he could kiss him softly.

  
Even mumbled something into Isak’s ear when they broke apart, too quiet for Jonas to hear, but he saw the blinding grin he got from Isak in return before Even turned to Jonas.

  
“Are you coming to the party on Saturday?” asked Even, whilst Isak grabbed his own plate to get some more food.

  
“Of course,” said Jonas. Isak sat down at the chair opposite him, not even reacting as Even leant over his shoulder and stole the first bite before pressing a kiss to Isak’s cheek.

  
“Great. I’ll see you then,” Even said to Jonas, before lowering his voice to speak to Isak. “And I’ll see you after class.”

  
“You’ll stay tonight?” asked Isak, and Jonas watched him shove a forkful of food in his mouth to hide his smug smile.

  
Even laughed under his breath and bent down again to nuzzle his nose into Isak’s temple, before peppering the side of his face with chaste kisses.

  
“Yes, I’ll stay. But I’m keeping your favourite shirt for compensation,” Even said, kissing Isak properly when he turned his head up towards Even with a grin.

  
Even waved and called out a goodbye to Jonas, Isak, and Linn, and Isak watched him go with a dopey, crooked smile on his face. It was only when Jonas snorted a laugh that Isak seemed to remembered there was someone else in the room.

  
“What?” Isak muttered, turning to scowl at Jonas, who was still sniggering at Isak’s dazed expression.

  
“I’ve never seen you this stupid over someone,” said Jonas. “I expected this sappy shit from Magnus, man, not _you._ ”

  
Isak laughed along with Jonas, shaking his head.

  
“Fuck, do you remember when he was dating that guy and he made us help him write six gross love letters for their ‘half-year’ anniversary?” Isak groaned into his hands

  
“Oh my god, I’m trying to burn that from my memory,” Jonas chuckled in reply. “He bought _scented_ paper _.”_

  
“Mags has got a whole lot of love to give,” Isak said with a fond sigh, and Jonas hummed a noise of agreement.

  
Mahdi, Magnus, Isak and Jonas were all very different people that somehow balanced each other out perfectly, and Jonas loved the way his friends often challenged his ideas and made him see things in a different way.  
They all had their different approaches to love, too. Jonas would like to think he was logical about it, but he knew how quickly he could be consumed by people, how the white hot feeling burned through him with no control, and how much it hurt when he was left behind. Magnus was the hopeless romantic of the group who fell hard and fast and was never ashamed of it. (Jonas would never say, but he admired Magnus the most; how he always wore his heart on his sleeve and saw love as such a joy no matter how often it hurt him)  
Mahdi seemed to take everything in his stride. Jonas had never seen him lose his head over anyone, and he completely lived in the moment. He appreciated the time he had with someone, but happily let it go when it was time. (Jonas wished he could be as level headed as Mahdi was, but he didn’t miss the way Mahdi became a little giddy when he met someone he liked, as well as the way his smiles became duller after breakups.) 

  
Isak was cautious, not just in his relationships, but in everything he did. He overthought terribly, and took a long time to trust people, which Jonas thought was absolutely understandable, since he had been let down so much. He’d spent a lot of time alone and isolated, and it had made him struggle to let people in, especially when things got bad. But Jonas knew, better than anyone, that Isak would do anything for the people he loved. Once he had put his trust in someone he would support them no matter what. Isak was the most loyal friend Jonas could have asked for. He was so full of love for the people he truly cared about, and poured everything he had into keeping them happy. That was why it hurt him so much when they let him down.

  
Isak had gotten crushes on people before, he’d had plenty of hookups and a few short term boyfriends that had never really stuck for one reason or another, but Jonas knew that Even was completely different. Isak had fallen into Even so quickly and easily in a way Jonas had never seen him do before, and Jonas wasn’t so sure what it was that made Even so special, but clearly Isak could see something in him that made him want to trust him.

  
“Do you love him?” Jonas blurted suddenly, voicing his thoughts out loud. Isak’s eyes went wide and he choked on his food, and yeah, Jonas probably should have eased into that conversation a little more subtly.

  
“What?” Isak managed to splutter eventually, and Jonas couldn’t help but laugh at the comically shocked expression on Isak’s face.

  
“Even, do you love him? You’re totally different with him than you have been with anyone else. It’s not a bad thing, but I’ve never seen you like this before,” Jonas explained, holding up a placating hand as Isak began to tap nervously on the table top.  

  
“I don’t-I mean, does it matter?” Isak stammered, keeping his eyes fixed on his plate.

  
“I think it does. But if you don’t want to talk about it, that’s cool,” Jonas said with a shrug.

  
He remembered the days when Isak could barely admit his attraction to guys, and knew Isak still struggled, sometimes. Jonas had tried to coax it out of him at the start, tried to let him know it was okay. But he knew that Isak had a lot of ideas he was still fighting against in his own head, and the first night a very drunk Isak had came over to Jonas, gushing about a cute boy he’d met, Jonas had been weirdly relieved. It had felt like a milestone, of sorts.

  
They stayed quiet for a while, Isak still tapping nervously, and Jonas watching him, waiting. 

  
“It’s too soon to think I do, isn’t it?” Isak eventually mumbled quietly.

  
“If it’s what you feel, then no. You can’t help feeling what you do,” Jonas replied just as softly. It felt like it was a little too much to speak it too loudly for now, especially considering how nervous Isak looked.

  
“I think I _could?_ ” said Isak, his voice tilting up into a question as he met Jonas’ eyes. “Love him, I mean. Or, maybe I already do. Fuck. It’s a scary thought." 

  
“It doesn’t have to be, Isak. Let yourself have this, I haven’t seen you this happy in a long time,” Jonas smiled. He was no expert in this, not even close, but Isak deserved to enjoy all the good things in his life for as long as he could.

  
Isak stayed quiet for a few moments. He was stabbing at his food with his fork, and had a wrinkle between his brows as he took in what Jonas had said. Jonas knew that Isak often still struggled with working out his feelings sometimes, and still had a habit of pushing them down and ignoring them when they got too much.

  
But this time, Isak’s face slowly broke into a smile. He looked up to Jonas with a nod, his eyes gleaming.

  
“I am happy. _Really_ happy,” he said, his smile slowly growing wider. 

  
Jonas grinned back, and nudged his foot into Isak’s shin under the table.

  
“Then that’s all that matters,” replied Jonas.

*

Jonas loved spending time with his friends. When they were younger they would spend almost every evening lounging around someone’s house, drinking and smoking and talking about nothing in particular. It used to make Jonas feel on edge, like he should be doing something with his life, and that he was wasting his time. But now, he valued the time with his friends more than anything. It was when he had the time to breathe, to let his friend’s conversations wash over him and just enjoy the moment.

  
“You’re so full of shit,” laughed Mahdi, holding up his beer can to point at Magnus. “Aliens aren’t little green dudes like you see in the movies.”

  
“That’s if aliens even _do_ exist,” countered Magnus. He and Mahdi had been arguing about the existence of aliens for the past fifteen minutes, after Jonas had told them about something he’d seen flying in the sky outside of his window last night. (He had been high, and thinking back, it probably was his next door neighbour’s drone, but it was too late to mention that now.)

  
“Of _course_ they exist. This universe is huge, and you think this is the only planet with life on it? No way man,” Mahdi nodded confidently and settled back against the sofa, whilst Magnus hummed thoughtfully, before turning to Isak.

  
“Are you nervous?” He asked suddenly, pulling Isak from his thoughts and making him jump.

  
“No!” he answered, far too quickly. He cleared his throat. “Why would I be nervous?”

  
Jonas rolled his eyes, and he heard Mahdi sigh beside him. Isak had been stressed about the party Even and his roommate, Mikael, were hosting for weeks. He’d tried to hide it, but Jonas could tell that he was anxious about it from the tightness in his shoulders and the way his voice wobbled slightly whenever he talked about it.

  
“Dude, meeting your boyfriend’s best friends is a big thing. Even worse than meeting their parents,” Magnus said, reaching out to pat Isak’s leg in reassurance.

  
Mahdi, Jonas, and Isak all laughed together, and Jonas was the first to compose himself.

  
“How is meeting someone’s friends worse than meeting their parents, Mags?” he asked.

  
“You barely see their parents, but their friends? You can’t avoid those. If their friends don’t like you, you’re fucked. Remember that girl I dated for like, two weeks?” Magnus explained, and all of the other boys made varying noises of disgust.

  
“She was mean,” Isak grumbled.

  
“She told you that being bi was something you just needed to grow out of,” Jonas scowled.

  
“And told Isak he was too good looking to be gay,” Mahdi added.

  
“Exactly!” Magnus snapped his fingers, “You guys hated her, and I was never going to keep dating someone that my best friends hated.”

  
There was silence for a few beats, before Isak groaned and sunk deeper into the sofa.

  
“I wasn’t nervous before, but _now_ I am,” he whined.

  
Jonas made a sympathetic noise and wrapped his arm around Isak’s shoulders, and Mahdi passed over a fresh can of beer for Isak, as Magnus muttered an apology.

  
“They’re gonna love you, Isak, what’s not to like?” Mahdi said kindly.

  
Magnus agreed enthusiastically, and Jonas gave Isak’s shoulder a squeeze. 

  
“If they see how good you and Even are together like we do, they’ll love you,” said Jonas, earning a small smile out of Isak.

  
“So you all like Even then?” he asked quietly. 

  
“He makes you happy,” Jonas stated simply instead of an answer. He couldn’t help but be a little cautious about anyone that came into his friend’s lives, Isak’s especially. Isak had dealt with so much hurt in the past, and Jonas couldn’t bear for someone to hurt him that badly again. But he saw how bright Even made him, and how infectious Isak’s joy was when he and Even were together.

  
“He’s chill,” Mahdi shrugged, giving Jonas a pointed look. Jonas knew that Mahdi was reserving judgement a little too. Neither of them wanted to see Isak shrink back into himself like he had before, and though Even was no doubt a good guy, Isak was their best friend who they all worried about.

  
“He’s awesome. I think I like him more than you,” Magnus said with a sly grin. Isak scowled, throwing his empty can at Magnus’ head with a grunt, before hauling himself up out of his seat.

  
“Alright, it’s judgement time,” he said with a sigh, and Jonas rolled his eyes as he got up too, holding out one hand to help Mahdi up, whilst quickly draining the beer in his other hand.

  
“Don’t be so dramatic,” Mahdi laughed. “If Even’s spent as much time talking about you to them as you do with us, they’ll feel like they already know you anyway.”

  
Isak ducked his head and mumbled a ‘shut up’, but didn’t argue as they all pulled on their coats and headed out of the door. Magnus swung the bag full of beer in his hand and hummed a tune Jonas didn’t recognise, whilst Isak and Mahdi fell into step beside Jonas, chatting excitedly to each other.

  
A lot of things had changed in Jonas’ life since school, but he was glad spending time with his friends with a bag full of cheap beer and mindless conversation wasn’t one of them.

*

The party was already in full swing when the boys got there, light and noise spilling out from the open front door, and a few people sitting cross legged on the grass outside. Jonas led the way into the house and spotted Even almost straight away, since he’d become used to finding him after months of him and Isak scanning every party for him the second they got through the door. He was standing with two of his friends, the one with gangly limbs and a bright smile, and the short haired one that Jonas knew was Sana’s brother.

  
Even looked over and met Isak’s eyes, and his face immediately melted into a face splitting grin as he waved Isak over. Isak made a beeline for Even, grabbing Jonas’ sleeve as he passed to pull him along too.

  
Isak dropped Jonas’ sleeve as they reached the three other boys, and Isak immediately moved to Even, standing in front of him and smiling a smile Jonas had only ever seen when Isak was around Even. Mahdi bumped into Jonas’ left shoulder, and Magnus stood at his right, and all three of them nodded politely to Even’s two friends, one of which nodded back, the other saluting in return.

  
“Fancy seeing you here,” Jonas heard Even say. Isak laughed, tilting his head up to kiss Even softly. 

  
“Hi,” Isak replied, before turning to one of Even’s friends and holding his hand out with a wobbly smile.

  
Isak introduced himself to Even’s two friends, and Jonas learned that the one with the longer hair and bright smile was Mikael, and Sana’s brother was named Elias. Mikael high fived Isak and gushed about how nice it was to _finally_ meet him, whilst pointedly elbowing Even in his ribs. Elias rejected Isak’s handshake in favour of pulling him into a hug, patting him heartily on the back.

  
Jonas, Mahdi, and Magnus stepped forward to greet the three boys too, Magnus immediately wrestling Even into a hug, before giving Elias and Mikael the same treatment. Jonas watched his friend with a fond smile, greeting Mikael and Elias with slightly less enthusiasm, but receiving the same wide smiles from them both.

  
They ended up squashed on a sofa in the centre of the room. Isak, Even, Jonas, and Mahdi all piled onto one, with Magnus and Mikael perched on the arms, and Elias sat on the floor in front of them all. Soon enough, Even’s other friends joined them, and introduced themselves. Mutta pulled each of them up to hug them all, including Mikael, Even and Elias, whilst Adam and Yousef were slightly more reserved, all settling for handshakes before sitting on the floor beside Elias.

  
Mutta and Magnus were talking excitedly to each other, Magnus having moved from the arm of the chair onto the floor to hear Mutta better, and Mahdi and Elias were lost in conversation too. Isak was settled comfortably into Even’s side, with Even’s arm around his waist as they both talked to Mikael. Even was drawing patterns into Isak’s side, and Jonas watched the tension slowly ebb away from Isak’s shoulders.

  
“What do you study?” Yousef asked, nudging Jonas’ leg with his foot to get his attention. He was smiling up at Jonas, his long hair falling into his eyes despite the bandana tied around his forehead.

  
“Political science,” Jonas replied, and Adam let out a low whistle beside Yousef.

  
“Sounds complicated. What job do you want from that?” Adam questioned.

  
Jonas shrugged. He hadn’t thought that far ahead, yet. He knew he had wanted to go to university to gain experience and learn something more specific, and knew he’d find that particular course interesting, but he tried not to look too far into the future. Plans always changed, no matter what, so he often didn’t see a point in making them.

  
“I’ll decide when I graduate,” he said, and the two boys nodded in understanding.

  
It turned out that Yousef already had a job in a nursery, and was trying to make enough money to spend the next year travelling, whilst Adam winced as he admitted he’d dropped out of his course a month ago.

  
“University isn’t for everyone,” Jonas offered kindly. He knew Mahdi had admitted plenty of times that he was considering dropping out because it just didn’t feel quite right for him, and Jonas completely understood.

  
They all settled into small groups easily, their conversations overlapping and merging together as they all talked. Jonas couldn’t help but smile to himself whenever he heard Isak laugh as he talked to Yousef and Adam, and he was so glad that they’d all gotten along so quickly. Magnus had been right about friends’ opinions being important - he trusted his friends’ opinions the most, and he knew it would have made Isak miserable if Even’s friends didn’t like him.

  
“Okay, I have to ask,” Mikael said loudly, addressing the entire group. Jonas frowned as he watched Even pale, wondering what Mikael was about to say.

  
Mikael leaned forward in his seat, keeping his eyes on Jonas, eyes filled with mirth as he ignored Even tugging on his shirt.

  
“Was Isak as pathetic over Even as Even was over him before they started dating?” Mikael asked with a grin. Adam, Yousef, Mutta, and Elias all sniggered into their hands.

  
“Yes,” Jonas and Mahdi answered at the same time, grinning at Isak’s horrified expression.

  
“He’s _still_ pathetic over Even, even though they finally got their shit together,” Magnus replied, and the rest of the boys burst into fits of laughter while Isak hid his face in Even’s neck and Even scowled at all of his friends, his face slowly turning red.

  
“Even was the _worst_. All he did was talk about Isak,” said Adam.

  
“And draw him,” added Elias.

  
“And make playlists for him,” Yousef laughed.

  
“He tried to write a poem about Isak once. It was the worst thing I’ve ever read,” said Mikael, earning a swift punch to the arm from Even.

  
Isak was positively gleeful as he listened to Even’s friends talk about what Even had done before he and Isak had finally talked. Jonas shot Even, who looked completely mortified, a sympathetic look, and tried desperately not to laugh along with everyone else.

  
Jonas had known that Even had been just as enamoured with Isak as Isak was with him, from the way he’d stare at Isak across the room at parties, rocking back on forth on his feet and watching Isak talk as if it were the most amazing thing he’d ever seen. Isak was grinning and pressing kisses into Even’s hair as his friends told tales of Even’s infatuation with Isak, and Jonas was almost grateful for the ego boost Isak was receiving. Too many of Isak’s crushes had been one sided, and though Isak always tried to insist it didn’t matter, Jonas knew that he took it to heart. Isak always blamed himself; it was his default that whenever anything went wrong he felt as though he was the cause of it. Jonas had a sudden rush of gratitude towards Even, and he was so glad that Isak had finally found someone who saw him for who he was.

  
“You’re adorable,” Jonas heard Isak say as he reached out to brush his thumb across Even’s cheek.

  
Even’s face dropped into a frown and he put one hand to his heart, batting away Isak’s fingers with the other.

  
“I am _not_ adorable. I am handsome and manly, and I definitely wasn’t as bad as those guys were making out,” argued Even, causing Isak to laugh loudly and melt back into Even’s side.

  
“You’re so cute,” said Isak, laughing harder when Even spluttered and poked Isak in the ribs, making him squirm.  
  
  
“Guys, back me up,” Even said, reaching around to clap his hand over Isak’s mouth to try and stop him from laughing.

  
“Nope. I’m with Isak. You’re adorable,” Mutta replied with a shrug.

  
“Me too,” said Adam. “You’re too...pretty to be handsome. And too kind.” 

  
Elias made a sound of agreement, sticking his thumb up but not turning away from whatever he and Mahdi were doing on his phone.

  
“I think it’s his smile,” Yousef added, tilting his head as he observed Even carefully.

  
“Yeah! The way his face goes all scrunched up and he sticks his tongue out a little when he laughs. The cutest,” said Mikael gleefully, reaching over to high five Isak who still had Even’s hand over his mouth. Even shoved Mikael off of the side of the sofa and flipped off the rest of his friends, still frowning.

  
“Fuck!” Magnus suddenly yelled, and everyone turned to him, staring. Magnus’ face slowly spread into a sly grin that could only mean he was about to say something bad.

  
“Do you remember how Isak used to sneak out of class fifteen minutes early every Friday just so he could get to the coffee shop before Even’s shift ended?” He said.

  
There was silence for a few beats, before Isak buried his face in his hands and groaned, and the other boys all began laughing again.

  
“I saw him actually _running_ down the street once to get there on time,” added Mahdi. “Isak doesn’t run anywhere, ever. You must be special, Even.”

  
It was Even’s turn to look smug as he pried Isak’s hands away from his face before pulling him into a hug, smiling so hard that his eyes scrunched up and laughter bubbled out of his mouth.

  
“I didn’t _run_ ,” argued Isak weakly, but all the others just laughed louder.

  
They all settled easily into separate conversations once more, and Jonas sat back and let it wash over him. He watched his friends, old and new, slowly merge into one big group that seemed almost immediately comfortable. It filled him with a warm sort of peace, the way they’d created their own space in between the noise and chaos of the party, all bouncing off of each other with an ease that made it feel as though they’d known each other forever. Isak and Even talked quietly to each other, foreheads pressed together, and Even stealing kisses in between sentences. Jonas smiled over at them, and noticed Mikael was sitting beside them doing the same. Mikael caught Jonas watching him and grinned, jumping off of the arm of the sofa and moving to sit by Jonas, cross legged on the floor.

  
“You must be the long suffering best friend who had to deal with most of Isak’s pining,” Mikael said, bumping his and Jonas’ shoulders together as Jonas laughed and nodded. “I feel your pain. I’m just glad he finally decided to do something about it. I was getting sick of staring at you guys at every party.”

  
“Sounds like they were both as bad as each other,” replied Jonas, smiling back.

  
“It’s just nice to see Even so happy. He deserves it,” Mikael said, looking over to Isak and Even again. Even had his legs draped over Isak’s and his head resting on Isak’s shoulder as Isak threaded his fingers through his hair, talking quietly.

  
“Isak does too. It’s a good job they found each other,” Jonas said. Mikael’s grin grew impossibly wider, and the happiness rolling off of him was almost tangible.

  
“Do you like him?” Jonas couldn’t help but ask. As much as he was pleased at how well everyone was getting on, he knew Isak would still overthink it and his insecurities would no doubt come creeping back when his hangover has subsided in the morning. It would be good to have confirmation from Mikael that Jonas could relay to Isak when he would no doubt start to worry.

  
Mikael snorted and looked at Jonas incredulously, his eyebrows shooting up into his hairline.

  
“Are you kidding? Of _course_ we like him. He’s good for Even and that’s good enough for us,” Mikael said, bumping into Jonas’ shoulder again.

  
“Besides, I felt like I already knew him before we finally got to meet him. He’s all Even talks about,” Mikael added, and Jonas couldn’t help but mirror Mikael’s bright grin.

*

When the party had died down and almost everyone had either left or fell asleep somewhere around the house, all of the boys except for Mikael, who had retreated to bed a while ago, decided to head back to their homes. Even followed the boys out of the door without a word and linked his and Isak’s hands together with an unspoken promise that he’d be staying at Isak’s house again that night.

  
Jonas hung at the back of the group. He watched Magnus and Mutta, arms linked together as they spun each other around, their laughter ringing through the street. Adam was playing a song Jonas didn’t recognise out loud on his phone, and he and Mahdi walked shoulder to shoulder, singing along. He saw Isak was walking with Yousef’s arm slung over his shoulder, and Elias stood on his other side, and Jonas could see the curve of Isak’s smile whenever he turned to talk to either of the boys.

  
It was only then that Jonas realised that Even had stopped and was watching him, waiting for him to catch up. Jonas fell into step with him with a smile and shoved his hands into his pockets, the cold night starting to settle into his skin. The warm buzz of alcohol was still thrumming through Jonas’ veins, and from how loud his friends were being, and how Even was stumbling with every third step, Jonas figured they were still a little drunk too.

  
“Did you have a good night?” Even asked after a few moments of he and Jonas walking side by side in silence.

  
Jonas nodded and looked to Even to grin, before looking back out to their friends. Magnus and Mutta were waltzing together in the street now, whilst the others cheered them on and laughed.

  
“It was a great party. Your friends are awesome,” said Jonas, catching Even’s smile out of the corner of his eye.

  
“They are,” replied Even, watching as Elias reached over to ruffle Isak’s hair.

  
They fell silent again for a few minutes before Even sighed deeply, his step faltering as he faced Jonas.

  
“Listen, Jonas. I know you don’t like me, but-” Even began, but Jonas interrupted him with a snort.

  
“Why the fuck do you think I don’t like you?” Jonas said with an incredulous laugh.

  
Even opened and closed his mouth a few times, before drawing his shoulders up to his ears and ducking his head.

  
“You’re Isak’s best friend, I know how important you are to him. He told me that you’re the only person who’s always been there for him. I get it if you’re worried about him. About us,” mumbled Even. It was the first time Jonas had seen him truly insecure, not wanting to meet Jonas’ eye, and hunching himself over to make himself seem smaller.

  
Jonas worried about the people that he loved, he wanted them to be happy and safe always, but he also knew that he couldn’t control that. When Isak had shut himself off and hid himself away, and all Jonas knew was that Isak was miserable but didn’t know _why_ , he’d been so frustrated. He just wanted Isak to open up and talk to him so Jonas could make things better. When Isak finally did talk to Jonas, at first Jonas had been relieved that Isak finally trusted him enough, but then the fact settled in that there was nothing he could do to actually help Isak, and so he was back to where he started. Sadness and tension poured out of Isak in waves; his eyes were dull, his laughter muted, and Jonas could do nothing about it but watch, his heart aching for his closest friend.

  
Once, Jonas had asked Isak if he could do anything to help, and Isak’s face had melted into a soft, tired, smile as he replied, “just be you, just be my friend.” Jonas had gotten to watch Isak slowly find his happiness all on his own, with his friends by his side, and finally, he understood.

  
Jonas didn’t realise quite how long he’d been quiet, lost in his thoughts, until Even began speaking again.

  
“I _really_ like him, Jonas. I’ve never met anyone like him before, he’s-” Even took a deep breath and looked over to where Isak was, his face twisting up into a smile. “He’s amazing.”

  
Jonas watched Isak turn and catch Even’s eye, returning his smile and quirking an eyebrow in a silent question as he looked from Even to Jonas, and back again. Even gave a short nod and Isak’s grin brightened just before he turned back to his conversation with Yousef, swinging his arms as he walked.

  
“Even, I think you’re great,” Jonas said finally, and Even’s head snapped back to him, eyes wide. “You’re good for Isak. I haven’t ever seen him this happy, and that’s mostly down to you. Why would I not like someone who makes my best friend as happy as you do?”

  
Even looked a little shellshocked for a few moments, his jaw slack and toes dragging on the pavement, before he finally seemed to compose himself, and his face broke into a wide grin as he reached out to squeeze Jonas’ shoulder.

  
“Thanks,” Even mumbled, before sniggering to himself and adding, “isn’t this the part where you’re meant to tell me you’ll beat me up if I hurt Isak?”

  
Jonas laughed with Even, shaking his head.

  
“No, because I know you won’t hurt him.” Even ducked his head, but Jonas didn’t miss the way his eyes lit up at Jonas’ reply.

  
He didn’t know much about Even yet. He planned to find out as much as he could along the way, because he was sure that Even was going to be around for a long time. But what he did know already was that Even was full of nothing but kindness.

  
“And anyway, you’re way taller than me. I’d have no hope in a fight,” added Jonas, making Even laugh loudly, throwing his head back and wrapping his arms around his middle.

  
Isak had stopped to let Even catch up with him, and Jonas almost slammed into his back, too busy laughing along with Even.

  
“What are you two talking about?” asked Isak. He looked so happy, so bright and full of life, especially compared to how dull and miserable he used to be. Jonas’ heart squeezed in his chest at the sight.

  
“You,” replied Even, stepping up next to Isak and taking his hand before kissing the top of his head. “Always you.”

  
Jonas let Isak and Even walk ahead hand in hand, and he watched the group of people he was proud to call his friends laugh and talk together, filling the dark streets with noise and cheer. He had his old friends, who had been such an important part of his life for so long, and now he had new friends too, who he had so much to learn about still, and he was excited to do so.

  
Most of all he saw his best friend, finally having found his place in the world, fighting through the worst of times so bravely all on his own, still with the kindest heart Jonas had ever known despite all of that.

  
He took the memory of this moment, of he and his friends drunk and happy, enjoying their night and making plans for tomorrow. He filed it away carefully, into a corner of his heart to keep for whenever he might need it, before he jogged to catch up with them, letting himself revel in the brightness he and his friends had created together.

**Author's Note:**

> As ever, kudos and comments are much appreciated. 
> 
> Title is from Breathe by Astrid S.  
> Find me on [Tumblr](http://call-this-a-mask.tumblr.com/), if you'd like.  
> And also! K+S have just started up a wonderful new fic rec blog, full of fantastic content, so you should go give the [Evak Binder](https://evaksbinder.tumblr.com/) a follow.
> 
> <3


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